Becoming the Whole You | lifesgoldenseason

June 30, 2022June 30, 2022

The Top of the Mountain

Our lunchtime view by Heart Lake in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming.

The journey between our feet and the top of the mountain can be our biggest obstacle.

Our vacation is far behind us but the pictures quickly bring back the memories. This particular day found us at a picnic area overlooking the frozen Heart Lake in Yellowstone Park. My eyes intently focused on the top of the mountains as I soaked up every single minute of this space of tranquility. It didn’t seem cold even though each breath we exhaled was proof of the cold temperatures. The peace that surrounded our little moment far exceeded the current climate. It was something I wanted to bundle up and tuck away in my heart.

I realized that peace is easy to sense when you’re sitting in complete comfort with all of your needs supplied and no obligations demanding your attention. It’s also easy to sense when you can simply stare at the top of the mountain and declare how beautiful it is.

BUT what if you’re looking at the top of that mountain as your desired destination and all you can see is the path between your feet and the snow-capped pinnacle? What if your life depends on you conquering that road and its obstacles in order to challenge your real potential? What if the desire to know yourself better outweighs the desire to remain complacent in this journey we call life? What if you can’t live with yourself if you don’t TRY to meet the challenge?

I ask these questions because I truly love to be in the company of people who cannot even look at that mountain without thinking of a way to scale its terrain. They hold a glimmer of adventure in their eye. One can see their “wheels” turning!

It behooves anyone to surround themselves with these types of folks. They have no fear of failure because the odds of succeeding are just as great if not more. Frankly, failure is way overrated. I believe failure only happens if you never put one foot forward. Instead, it’s about mindset, determination, courage, and confidence. It’s about DECIDING you can do it.

As I lowered my eyes I began to see the vast frozen lake in front of us. The mountains stand in their majesty holding their own difficult course. But what about the journey before the mountain? The lake itself held one danger after another and it had to be conquered en route to the mountain?

The voyage before the mountain top experience can be the scariest and offer defeat.

Okay – enough – my point is this. Life is meant to be lived. Your life, my life, and everyone else who holds breath in their lungs. We are creatures with potential beyond anything else on this earth. Many times that potential is squelched because we find a comfortable spot and set up a lifetime camp while the view of the mountaintop becomes so familiar we don’t even look at it anymore. The longer we camp in one spot, the longer and harder the journey seems to present itself. It looks too hard to conquer and we get all tripped up in the nitty-gritty details until we talk ourselves right out of any possibilities of embarking on any new expeditions.

I leave you with this encouragement. Take a good and hard look at your mountain. This time, devise a plan to start moving toward that mountain top. Even if you have to navigate the frozen waters of fear and doubt. Each step you take is one step closer to success. More importantly, each time you take a step forward, the potential within is coming to the forefront. Excitement and courage begin to take the place of fear and doubt. Stamina strengthens and the muscles of faith begin to ignite! Release that potential inside yourself that has been there all the time!

It is true that “life is but a vapor”. Make sure you LIVE IT and by all means

Enjoy the Journey-VB

Check out some of our latest music released this year! It too holds a mountain top experience!

It's in the Music — https://lifesgoldenseason.com/its-in-the-music/

May 20, 2022May 20, 2022

In the Waterfall of a Golden Season

The power of the waterfall .
Yellowstone National Park

Do you feel like you’re in the waterfall of a golden season? Well, read on as I explain!

Waterfalls have always intrigued me. Kind of like fire. They are mesmerizing. I can stand there all day and stare at it while it does what it does every day whether or not anyone is looking.

My husband, being the generous and loving person he is, gave me a two week vacation to Cody, Wyoming for Christmas. First of all, he knows I absolutely love the mountains. Second and most importantly to me – he did the planning so I wouldn’t have to do a thing but get in the car.

The two week journey was scheduled for the last two weeks in May. I got in that car and didn’t look back. The world (or at least my world) has been moving faster than my mind can keep up. I am a processor so I don’t operate at full capacity when on overload for an extended period of time.

It feels good to be in a slower paced environment where one can realize there are parts of our land that still seem untouched by man’s hand.

This raven sat by the waterfall as a friendly greeter. There are many mystical and spiritual meanings in different cultures regarding the symbolism of an encounter with a raven. I simply enjoyed sharing my french fries with him as he shared his space with me.

It is certainly refreshing to see people soaking up the mountain air. The folks in this part of the country have a great appreciation for their heritage. I have a great appreciation for their appreciation. The mountains have a way of penetrating my soul and it seems that is a common thread among the natives and several of the visitors we have crossed paths. The only words I can think of to express what I see is “folks tend to breathe a little deeper in the midst of nature”.

The waterfall reminds me how small we humans compare to the power of natures own natural abilities. It runs with a mighty force propelled by the melting snow in higher elevations. Everything in it’s path must adjust to it’s speed, depth, and boundaries.

I can’t help but apply the same principles to this golden season as I organize a life timeline for the person I am writing about in the next book project. It’s quite an aha moment to see one’s lifespan on one single page strung along a list of dates. Much like the waterfall – we will have moments when circumstances caused by other elements will make us run faster than usual while outside of our comfortable boundaries. It may even seem so deep at times we wonder if we’re going to drown in the process.

There is hope though! The season is eventually going to change and allow you to catch your breath as the gushing waters lend only a tiny stream and eventually a solid duration of tranquility as ice on a frozen river.

I leave you with this encouragement. Evaluate your own life timeline and make the needed adjustments for it to portray the legacy that matches the desires of your heart. Take the time to stare at a waterfall if you need inspiration! You never know until you try it! Whatever it takes to make each season a golden memory.

By all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

I would love to share a season of my life with you! You’ll find it on my Book Page. My favorite read is one written from the most transparent part of an author’s heart. That was my goal with Escape from Darkness. I hope you find some common ground in our journeys.

April 7, 2022May 20, 2022

Have You Shared Your Story?

Have you shared your story? I absolutely love to hear people’s stories.

The current fast-paced world seldom lends time to listen to an entire thought from someone else let alone their entire story. Some of my favorite memories include listening to stories told by my Mother, Dad, Granddad, and friends. Now that I am older and most of them have transitioned to heaven, I have a much greater appreciation for their stories. It makes me want to go back and listen more intently to each one of them while looking them in the eyes with my full attention.

Listening in general is a lost art. The explosion of technology has replaced the evening gathering of families around the dinner table and things like the hot summer porch sittings with a glass of tea in hand – listening to the frogs’ chirp. This heart misses those times and silently wishes the world would slow down enough to appreciate each other’s presence a bit more.

I recently read All Over but the Shoutin’ written by Rick Bragg. His story entails his journey from Possom Trot, Alabama to his success as a writer. It’s not only inspiring, it will move your soul.

Each one of our stories has the same potential to inspire and give hope to those around us. I believe if we would only look a little closer it would be evident that each of our stories connects to someone else’s. I could relate to Rick’s love and honor for his mother.

I too have a mother that had a story. A story that began in 1921 on top of a mountain in Plumlee, Arkansas. Her journey carried her to many states as my Grandpa moved the family with his ministry and writing career. One year she bound the archives of his writings and added a brief summary of her written story to the front of one of the books. I would have never imagined how precious that gift would become to me through the years.

In her own handwriting, she included dates, a few short stories, and even a medical history of her generations. These are things we do not think of as valuable until they are.

The point is that these things only transpire if we invest our time to make them happen. There has never been a space in history that has given us the ability to research, create, share and archive as we have now. Our stories should not go with us on the day of our last breath. A piece of us must stay on earth to instill hope, reflection, and wisdom to those who are seeking.

I believe it is important to share our history with our families and friends and be equally willing to listen to their stories too. The truth is, even though a story is unseen, it can prove to be the most valuable influence in the lifetime of the receiver. Once heard, it will plant itself in a memory available for retrieval for the rest of your days! The richness of life lies under those things we strive daily to maintain like mountains of debt for big houses, cars, and the decaying junk we thought we just had to have.

Me and my Grandson walking together. He’s a big part of my story!

I have one grandson. The week he was born I started a journal of his time spent with me and his grandpa. My entries are as if writing him a letter. The pages are beginning to fill with heartfelt words of encouragement and wisdom from those moments. I tell him things his squirmy 8-year-old self doesn’t have time to hear right now! One day he will cherish the words and prayerfully hear the tone of love in my voice as he reads the journal. Perhaps he will be sitting outside on a hot summer evening with a glass of tea as written memories unfold into a pleasant journey of his own story. My hope is he will be inspired to write his story too and continue his portion of the massive connection of mankind.

I leave you with this encouragement:

Record your story. Write to your children or grandchildren. Be transparent as you record your story leaving no stone unturned. The golden seasons of life are meant to be told. Tell the story as if you were the most important person in the world – because you are and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Blogging is a GREAT way to tell your story! It’s easy to get started with a little assistance right HERE!

March 24, 2022March 24, 2022

Freedom vs Wholeness – Are they the Same?

Freedom vs wholeness – are they the same or is one needed to obtain the other?

I recently joined Kelsie Jo Hillis on Picturing Purpose Podcast to review my book Escape from Darkness. The conversation inspired me to revisit a few of its main topics such as gaining self-worth and the real definition of wholeness.

I am very thankful to Kelsie Jo for the podcast chat. I hope it encourages each reader to explore the concepts of wholeness and freedom. (Two of my favorite words)

Freedom will pave a new road of adventure for you while wholeness gives you the courage to walk it out!

You know healing has happened when you can discuss your past from an objective view instead of a totally emotional standpoint,

I noticed that I didn’t start sweating and breathing really fast when we approached the hard places of conversation. I commented at the conclusion of the podcast how glad I was to have written the book from the place of raw deliverance. I truly didn’t hold anything back because I wrote it in the heat of my healing. There really is no better place to connect with people than from the place of walking out of pain. They need to hear the tears and feel the desperation for freedom.

Transparency was a real obstacle for me. It seemed my life was full of secrets. Somewhere in the healing process, I realized the “secrets” were nothing more than shame transformed into a vice of insecurity. My belief system had become propped up with an infrastructure of insecurity and low self-worth.

Insecurity will shut you down. It will keep your feet planted in a cesspool of fear and uncertainty. Simple decisions can become difficult to manage and you could analyze your way right out of opportunities. Viewing your life through the lens of unworthiness can keep you trudging through life like you’re wearing concrete boots. Daily living can seem like a major and tiring task.

The question I raise today is this: do you see yourself as ENOUGH to pursue freedom in this chaotic world of high demands and constant stress? Sometimes I feel my shoulders up around my neck because I’m living for what I need to do next in my day.

The current world requires we make moment to moment intentional decisions to protect our peace.

So why is wholeness important? We must see ourselves as worthy enough to take the time in each day to protect our inner peace. It takes courage and strength to combat interruptions and distractions with bold grace. Courage and strength rise up more frequently in the pursuit of becoming whole.

I found a new person hidden under the rubble of stress and trauma once I dedicated time to run my race to wholeness. The first few steps were nothing more than tiny steps of faith because I had never seen myself as enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Pretty enough. Worthy enough. My perspective changed as time and discipline ran their course. YES– I will schedule a monthly massage. YES – I will spend an hour each morning with a book or pen and paper. YES – I will protect myself from hitting the emotional ditch.

I walk toward my dreams but with total awareness that it is a JOURNEY and NOT A SPRINT!

Everyone has a different journey to walk. Even if we were all headed to the same destination of freedom, the route is different for each one of us. That is exactly why I encourage folks to tell their stories. There are nuggets of hope in each story.

The truth is FREEDOM IS BEAUTIFUL. It allows the real you to begin to shine and get brighter each day.

I leave you with this encouragement. Find that secret place where you can actually hear yourself think. Ask yourself “Do I believe I am enough? “ Your answer will lend a good starting place to begin a new self-care routine. Practice saying YES to yourself. We all have room to expand and by all means

Enjoy the Journey- VB

This blog was a stepping stone in my freedom and wholeness walk. Maybe it would help you too! Here is where I got started. It’s easy and affordable and introduces you to a network of wonderful people.

Don’t forget to check out the podcast!

January 13, 2022January 13, 2022

It’s In the Music

Photo Credit: Lindsey Simon – Wild Free Adventure Photography

“It’s in the Music” is such a valuable phrase to me that I had it tattooed on my arm. It’s my one and only tattoo and I was 52 years old when I made the decision. Also, just for the record, it is true that getting tattooed fuels the desire to get another one! It’s now in my near future.

There’s a story behind why the phrase is so important to me. I will quickly track back 50 years from where it all started. I wanted a guitar. My mom and I drove 35 miles on a dark and snowy night to buy it. Lessons followed and my love for music grew with each note. I eventually picked up a few more instruments that offered the opportunity to perform with a band during my teenage years.

I write this with much gratitude because both of my parents were always supportive of my musical talent. They spent dollars they didn’t have on the finest instruments for me.

Sixteen years ago I had an experience that has since left me pondering the meaning of the message “It’s in the Music”.

Do you know how some dreams have so much impact you never forget them? Well, that’s exactly what happened. My mother who had passed 4 years prior, appeared to me in a dream. She asked me to sit in her lap. My grown self sat in her lap just like a little tiny baby! She looked deep into my eyes and said, “It’s in the Music, Vickie”. Just let me do this – and she repeated “It’s in the music” 3 more times. She began to blow her breath in my face. Ice blue crystals filled my entire body. I could feel them going through my veins as if I were wide awake.

There are some things you know beyond the shadow of a doubt even when they don’t make sense. I knew something had just happened that changed the trajectory of my heart toward the power of music. I have no words for it other than something in my heart began to explore what she meant. What exactly is in the music? Why did “I” need to know this information? What was the purpose of the blue crystal thingys?

At this time, I have only partial answers with a lot of gray areas. Here is what I know. Music is universal. It speaks to every age, language, and gender. The sound embeds into all five senses. A song can take you to places you’ve never been and put you right into the moment. One lyric can heal moments of grief, sorrow, or confusion. A melody can become almost a nuisance as it “gets stuck in your head” and make you spontaneously dance a jig or run a sprint. There is a lot of science behind that whole concept but that’s not my mission today.

My mission is to share this experience with you and hopefully inspire you to reach a bit deeper into a place of your own personal unknown. The song I am sharing with you today was recently released to the public. I wrote it in 2003 a few months after my mother transitioned to heaven but before the epic dream.

I sat all alone at a keyboard in a church sanctuary. Writers of music know the power of fiddling around with notes until they make a melody. There is no certain order as to how lyrics begin to accompany a melody. In this case, the lyrics fell right into cadence with the melody and were coming from a place of the sorrow I was experiencing at the time. It seemed as the lyrics were releasing my current state of sadness or grief. Eventually, I ended up in a heap of emotions underneath the keyboard.

I know each reader has had the experience of listening to a song that captures a piece of their heart but most listeners do not know the process a song has gone through to get to the place of its availability to the public.

First, there is the unction– that still small voice inside of an artist that starts to press from the inside pushing its way into existence. It’s raw and unpolished but nevertheless, it has arrived. It can be downright exhausting delivering something the world has NEVER seen or heard.

The second is the moment of sharing. That usually takes me a while because I love to hang on to the sacred and intimate moment of creativity. It’s a personal thing.

The third phase can take minutes or years. Framing the structure of the song. Finding its personality. This is usually done in the company of other musicians or producers. An artist usually knows if a suggested adjustment is going to fit the song’s purpose. It’s up to the creator as to how loosely they hold the reigns on refining.

Finally, the decision is made if a recording is part of the song’s destiny. I can tell you there is a multitude of great songs that have never been recorded. Their purpose is being fulfilled in other ways.

Then there are songs like the Holy of Holies that yelled the need to be shared in a broader avenue.

By the time we recorded this song nineteen years after its conception – it had already made its way into several situations where it dispersed peace and comfort. It carried the same healing with it I had experienced when it was delivered into my care.

The recording came at a time of the chaotic world upheaval of COVID-19. Musicians, conductors, and performers were squelched in their tracks with no outlets. They gladly and professionally served the song. We couldn’t have done it without their collaboration.

There is much more to say but I’m at the end of my words for today. The power of music is wide and deep with many avenues to explore. “It’s in the Music” is a message that will certainly unravel for the rest of time.

I leave you with this encouragement. Choose to look at music on a deeper level and when you get there- go deeper. It’s an endless road. When you see a music artist performing or writing – give them a word of encouragement. Most of us don’t even know the real power of the gift we carry. And last but not least from my heart to yours – please enjoy the

“Holy of Holies”

Now found on my It’s in the Music Page

and of course by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

It’s really not my gig BUT I LOVE TO READ THE FOOD BLOGS! So for all of you foodies out there who aren’t sharing your stuff –what are you waiting for? If I can do the blog thing – so can you! Give it a click and get started.

January 1, 2022January 1, 2022

The New Year’s Resolution

A male handwriting a new year's resolution on the chalkboard. — Photo Credit:Freerangestock.com

New Year’s Day is one of my favorite days to wake up early, grab the morning coffee, and sit down in the solace of my office. The New Year’s resolution became a thing of the past for me several years ago.

A resolution by definition is simply a firm decision to do or not to do something. Somewhere along the way, I resolved just to be the best me I could possibly be – every single day. That mindset allows for personal development decisions to pop up all year long!

Nevertheless, the first day of the year does not fail to put me in a reflective mood. There is a sense of relief when the hustle of the holidays is over. My mind is able to breathe for a moment and re-prioritize for the days ahead.

I am a person of many ideas so making a list of one to seven priorities is quite helpful. This year I’ve specifically chosen four life activities that are set to keep me moving toward my ultimate goal of complete wholeness. Three years ago I let this quote from Matthew Kelly’s book “Perfectly Yourself” mold my perspective of wholeness.

Wholeness: The sense that my life is one – not many parts or many compartments, but one loving, breathing, ordered life. Wholeness allows me to embrace who I am and at the same time strive to achieve all I am capable of achieving and become all I am capable of becoming. (Being content with who I am today and improving myself for tomorrow.)

I believe wholeness is attained when we find the delicate balance that allows both to coexist.

The list written with purposeful intention includes our home-based businesses, this blog, my service as a leader of a worship team as well as my recreational music. Each one serves different areas of my life. The list is set as a reminder on my phone and posted on the bulletin board in my office. The constant reminder helps to keep a boundary line established giving me the right to NO to the things that don’t apply to the particular items on my list.

Home-based businesses require attention. If you don’t look at something, it will eventually wither away. Discipline and intention are crucial to their success.
I have specific blocks of time set aside to write and pay attention to this blog. I learned through writing Escape from Darkness that a few hours a week will eventually get you to your goal! I made the decision to write for 3 hours every Wednesday morning. Two years later the book was published. The blog has been the same way. The decision was made to launch a blog, the time has been set aside to do it, and little by little it is getting a presence. Consistency is the key.

The blog also allows me to share myself from the most intimate place of the mind. This is therapeutic for me and nourishes my soul. If you have a desire to do something and never give it an opportunity to blossom, it becomes an actual heartache. I absolutely love the wisdom and insight I gain from other writers as they are willing to share themselves with the world.

3. Serving as a worship team leader at our church allows me to pull the gold out of other folks who are serving with their talents and loving hearts. The rewards are endless in serving others. We should always be willing to share our God-given talents with the world around us.

4. Finally, what I call my recreational music does nothing less than fill my soul. It has no creative boundaries of its own and it makes me happy from the inside out. It is gracious to let me run free and fly in the face of the unknown where anything is possible. I share that space with one of my best friends (who is recognized on my music page) . We share the common mindset of bringing peace and joy to our audiences through music.

I leave you with this encouragement. Make a purposeful list that is tailored specifically to serving the desires of your heart. Resolve to dedicate your time to the boundaries of that list. If something doesn’t fit within the perimeters of those boundaries, just say NO and by all means

Enjoy the Journey- VB

Happy New Year my friends!

“It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

The challenges and rewards of blogging will bring out the best in you. If you have even a tiny desire to do such a thing, please don’t wait another minute. The time is going to pass anyway- make it count! This is where I started: You’re one click away!

https://itsalovelylife.samcart.com/referral/XnAAkVyb/dww3whBpsMGCQp5k

November 11, 2021November 11, 2021

So Lonesome I Could Cry

Photo Credit: FreeRangeStock.com
The silhouette of a praying woman sitting in a dark tunnel with a light at the end depicts the title “So Lonesome I Could Cry”

Hank Williams said it all in 1949 with his release of ” I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” .

Elvis commented it was the saddest song he had ever heard.

The burden of loneliness has been around for as long as people.

Today is one of those days when this writer feels a timely message is at hand. Another year is about to make its exit but not before the holiday season has its way. I expect folks to celebrate big this year. Even though uncertainty fills the air, there is also a sense of freedom compared to a year ago. Nevertheless, it’s the time of year when many will face that familiar lonely feeling.

My intention today is to focus on what we can do to help alleviate loneliness for ourselves and others.

Photo credit: freerangestock.com
Cute small dog standing on two legs and looking away by the window searching or waiting for his owner. Even our pets desire connection.

I recently had a conversation with a friend that revealed the challenge of solitude some of us deal with as our children leave the nest, our bodies begin to have a mind of their own, and the desire to stay home from the 8-5 routine begins to raise in priority on the wish list.

One of my recent blogs about the baby boomer generation discussed the culture that surrounds our traditions of living. Many of us have served our time in the grind of the 8-5 workplace . Years of working toward that day of bliss when the retirement plan kicks in and the pension check shows up in the mailbox for the rest of our days.

However, suddenly, we’re 50 years old and the world isn’t what it was when we started this journey. Companies have changed, people have changed, work ethics have changed, governments have changed and more importantly, WE changed too.

What happened? Are we accomplishing anything? Have we done anything that matters?

Is there really a dreaded mid-life crisis?

Well, call it what you want to but it’s a real thing and it happens to many of us. I began to sense an urgency regarding the speed of time. Life legacy became more important than the material things that once held so much importance.

On top of all that, I began to sense this weird lonely feeling starting to traipse around in my daily routine. My personal schedule had not slowed down. My life is blessed beyond measure and there is not a lack of things to do. I am motivated with lots of creative ideas, and I don’t procrastinate about taking risky leaps to make them happen. Yet, I still began to find myself a bit unsettled.

So I did what most women do, I began to evaluate the situation.

DO I need more friends? Do I need different friends? Do I need a vacation? WHAT DO I NEED???

What was this internal nagging I had pegged as loneliness?

Here is my resolve. First of all, loneliness has no mercy where age is concerned. It happens to all of us at different times of life.

I believe the real question is “What can we do to engage with each other in a way that enhances relationships and brings fulfillment for our soul?” I personally am extending my effort to answer this very question.

I recently visited friends and family who are housed in nursing homes and an assisted living facility. During my visits, I became acutely aware of their isolation. Freedom as they once knew it simply does not exist. These folks are dependent upon us to find time in our schedules to make a phone call, send a text, mail a card, or physically spend some time with them. While it doesn’t take a facility to be confined, the concept is the same for many.

My heart became burdened for their situation and the loss of a life that is now only in their memories. Their social circles consist of basically the same people every single day. My point is – my own loneliness paled quickly against the backdrop of what I experienced.

The people that accommodate these types of facilities have encountered the loss of their independence. There are also other situations involving “children” who are born as victims of their environments. They too have no choices for their daily routines. They have never experienced the independence of an adult, but instead are in the most vulnerable and developmental time of their lives concerning the social connection. From foster care to cancer centers, to our very own communities – we can find a child who needs a hug or simply a friend.

I could elaborate on this ever-growing loneliness epidemic but my words would eventually become redundant. The desire is for my reader to think beyond themselves and put their own freedom into action for someone else who may be less fortunate. My counselor set me free when she said “People were originally designed for connection.”

There ya go. People were meant to engage with each other on some level.

Photo Credit: freerangestock.com
Sunshine on a country road replaces the vacant road with beautiful light.

I leave you with this encouragement. Turn your own loneliness into a gift of connection. There is certainly no better season to begin such an attempt. The holidays have their own way of magnifying feelings, whether good or bad, joyful or sad!

Light up a dark place in someone else’s world. I promise –your reward will be priceless fulfillment.

Have a great Thanksgiving and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Blogging helps me empty my head. (If that makes sense) There are a lot of thoughts out there that are meant to be shared. Don’t wait another minute. Do what I did and reach out to the people who are willing to help. It’s blogging made easy!

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October 21, 2021October 21, 2021

Let’s Go Baby Boomers!

Have you found yourself frustrated more often than not from being involved in conversations or having dinner with someone, where the other person is texting, tweeting, or posting on FB? Your not even sure if anything you just said was even heard? Well, let’s go baby boomers!

The older I get the more I find myself reflecting on “days gone by”. Life seemed much more simple even just a few years ago. If you take a 20-year look back, one can sense the excitement in the air as technology was quickly on the rise. 30 years ago opened the door for the first website. The internet was just making its entrance 40 years ago when I graduated high school. The bag phone came shortly after that. (Yes, I had one! It weighed about 3 pounds and DIDN’t fit in my purse!)

I was born at the tail end of the Baby Boomers generation. The opportunity to see the best of both worlds has been very vivid. Life in the middle 1960s makes today’s living seem fast and furious. Stress and busyness are common words in most of today’s conversations.

I frequently ask myself the following question: Is it really supposed to be this way?

It’s hard to keep up with all that is going on around us. The American lifestyle puts demands on a household from all directions. Sprinkle in current world events on top of daily living and you get a perfect scenario for mental and even physical stress beyond our limits.

Mental health used to be a thing hidden behind the veil of “the family secrets”. Not so much anymore. There is a great push for better understanding, compassion, empathy, treatment, and cures.

But isn’t there a way to just stay out of the ditch and live a balanced and healthy lifestyle?

My parents worked 60 plus hours a week. Provision and self-worth both came from the work ethic. We met at the table for breakfast , lunch, and dinner. We were taught to respect our elders – whoever they were. Parents, Aunts, Uncles, or neighbors. If they were older than you – you respected them. Looking people in the eye meant honesty and integrity. Life was a team effort and families were units of powerful influence.

I married at 18 years old and had a child at 22. (Living together wasn’t even considered as an option for us 21 years ago ) . We were young and completely immersed in generational baggage as well as our own self-induced behavioral consequences. Neither of us had good parental models for a healthy marriage or guidance to navigate the rough waters of daily life while raising a family.

New Year’s Eve of 2000 found me in a hotel room with my head buried in a pillow waiting for Y2K to take me away. My world as I knew it had fallen apart a week prior. Year after year had passed and my happiness slowly dwindled away until one day I simply walked away from our 17-year marital investment.

It can seem like it sneaks up on you even when it’s taken years to get there. The truth is we all have emotional limits and there doesn’t have to be abuse or dysfunction to cause the overload. It can simply be a matter of how you structure each one of your days. How much you expect of yourself and putting limits on the access others have to your time.

I wish someone had mentored me on personal development. Knowing how you are individually wired is a tremendous asset. Recognizing how to manage our weak and strong traits is a recipe for productivity and emotional wholeness.

Yet, my parents were from the “Greatest Generation”. They were shaped by the Great Depression and were the primary participants in World War II. The thought of “personal development “ was not even on the radar! Instead, survival was at the forefront of every moment.

Anyway, although I do allow my thoughts to wander back to the “good ole days, we are in the present time frame and the only control we have in our life is how we react to all situations. The past, the present, and the future.

I was guilty of stuffing my past deep within my soul until it became toxic to my well-being. Divorce put me in my own season of survival and restoration. Much later and well into my second marriage, counseling took me pilfering through the debris of a past that had left deep scars. The only choices were to face it and deal with it or stay emotionally crippled with the same conditioned behaviors for the rest of my life.

Little by little I found some treasures buried in the ashes, brushed them off, packed them up, and headed into the present. I have since learned how to manage my emotions in a much more healthy way and use the past as fuel for the future.

It is probably safe to say that most of us could use a little dusting off. We are constantly victims of our environments. Different seasons of life give us both good and not so good. It’s a healthy practice to stay aware of build-up in our lifeline.

Our culture as Baby Boomers has changed quickly in the past 50 years. However, we must understand the incredible opportunity to be the seam between our generations and use it as a powerful tool for our future and the future of our children and grandchildren.

I believe we are living in one of the most powerful times of influence in history. It is crucial we embrace the changes that are upon us and become a useful blending tool for future generations.

I have heard it said that unity must have diversity or it is simply uniformity. It would be tragic to try to duplicate a past culture instead of enhancing the present. Our common goal should be to unite our strengths and equip the generations that follow so they can succeed in this fast-changing world. We have values that risk getting lost if we don’t step up.

I leave you with this encouragement: Keep yourself mentally maintenanced in these crazy days. Let your past fuel the present and future. Make the decision to help connect the generations. Be that person that invests in another. Take the time to appreciate their era and what molded their character. Be aware of your sphere of influence and look for those windows to weave your knowledge with theirs to help the world go forward long after you are gone.

If they are focused on their phone when you are talking to them, don’t worry, they probably heard every word you said and by all means

Enjoy the Journey -VB

PS: Blogging is a journey. Procrastination is the only thing that may be keeping you from embarking on that journey. Just do it! Right here.

For encouragement on revisiting your past – check out my book page! I appreciate all reviews too!

September 2, 2021September 2, 2021

Reflection on My Friend

I can sense the depth of my emotions as I prepare to write this blog with my reflection on my friend, Carlene. Simply scanning the pictures has taken me a few years down memory lane.

There are not enough words to justify all I could say about this woman who is also featured on “It’s in the Music page”.

My memory is quite clear of how our friendship began 18 years ago. My own mother had passed a few months prior to our introduction.

Losing a parent leaves a huge hole in your heart. There are really no words for the magnitude of its impact. All you can do is move forward and be so grateful for the memories, the lessons learned, and the heritage imparted. It’s also wise to be willing to accept someone else into that empty space. Not as a replacement of course but more so to help you move past the grief and accept what life holds for the future.

Counseling taught me how we humans are wired for connection. Most of us have tried to solo it at least once in our lifetime while some live their entire lives as loners. I for one would not be a good candidate for such an isolated life. I must have people.

It will serve my soul well to write about my friend Carlene. Her friendship has made me rich in ways I have not known before. I will forever be grateful.

It all began on a very cold winter evening. One of those times when you would rather be home watching TV wrapped up in your favorite blanket. My friend and music partner, Dwayne, called to tell me to grab my banjo – he was taking me to “The Opry”. Playing music trumped the cold weather and away we went.

This is Dwayne and me at my 40th birthday party. Music and fun followed us everywhere!

We arrived at a small building with cars parked on every side. Little did I know my feet were stepping into the place that would not only become my new Friday night hangout but also offered a healing balm for a heart with a big fresh wound.

Behind those doors was a small stage and at least 100 old theater seats filled with people. There was standing room only which meant if you were standing you were most likely in line to receive a happily prepared hotdog or nacho and a hot beverage from the never-ending pot of coffee! The LONGTOWN OPRY had just made a big footprint on the days to come.

I barely had time to inhale a hotdog before Dwayne and I were invited to join the band for a few tunes. My new friend to be, Carlene, was the center of a trio of three fiery red-headed women dressed to the nines in sequins and bling. Their harmony was seamless.

Carlene sits in the center of twin sisters, Dale and Gale making up the trio “Jeweltone”.

Writing this literally fills my soul with love and my eyes with tears!

Dwayne took his seat at the keyboards and I waited for the cue to start picking that banjo. (because that’s all I knew to do). The music started and I was engulfed in love and fun. The cold air outside of that place was no longer a thought or a concern. I felt like I was drinking a refreshing glass of water after a long hard walk. We finished our tune and Carlene said “ I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY FOUND YOU”!

After the show we closed down the local hamburger dive and needless to say, the rest is history.

Until I moved a few years later, we didn’t miss a Friday night of music or midnight hamburgers, fries, and endless laughter.

One of the many times of Carlene and I being ornery!

Carlene lived in a small apartment just a few blocks from my house. I would randomly show up at her door with a guitar in hand and ready to eat her awesome brownies. She was and still is a breath of fresh air to everyone who crosses her path. She is one of those people with a big presence, never-ending wit, and abundant love.

In a nutshell, she filled a spot in me that desperately needed to be filled at that time in my life.

Moving away didn’t keep me away. Regular phone calls, visits, and a few long weekends at our home filled the holidays and summers. Without anticipation or hesitation, we archived her audio memoir on one of her weekend visits. She told every story she could think of about her life. (she actually filled two CDs). Certainly a project I would recommend to anyone. We all have a story to tell and no one can tell it like us.

I could write an entire book with memoirs of our friendship but the heart of this blog is to point at the value of ALL RELATIONSHIPS. There are so many facets to genuine friendship. All too often we tend to take those golden nuggets of blessings for granted. Time is hardly a thought as we are living in the moment. Yet things seem to change suddenly when years have passed. Memories become priceless treasures as the light begins to dim in a person we cannot even imagine being absent in our daily lives.

I visited Carlene last month shortly after her 90^th birthday with my guitar in hand and music in my heart. Her eyes searched deep into mine as she worked hard to regain her memory. She said, “It feels as though I’ve known you for a very long time”. After a short chat, the sound from the strings on the guitar began to sharpen her mind. Although much fainter than ever before, lyrics and harmony began to follow the melodies so familiar to both of us. She sang, I cried. Her wittiness and laughter once again filled gaps between the good memories of the past and the current moment.

Lunchtime came and it was time for me to leave. I told her I would be back as soon as possible and blew her a kiss that she happily returned.

The drive home brought the reflection of the many times we had exchanged the airborne kiss. It’s a small gesture packed with love beyond understanding and unspoken memories held in our hearts.

I suppose each of us has aged but the friendship has only strengthened.

Is loving not the most fulfilling and painful thing we must endure throughout life? Why can’t there be a handbook somewhere to tell us how to navigate loss and guide us through managing the real emotions of grief? Time has no mercy. If anything, it only goes faster! These are the questions in life that even the wisest of the wise cannot fully answer.

I leave you with this encouragement. Embrace the Carlene’s in your lives. Do something BIG to honor them while they are on this earth. Celebrating the memories with them will lend the opportunity to create new ones. I am here to tell you, nothing you can do will ever hold more value than sweet time spent with those you love. Do it for you and do it for them and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Robert D Smith’s “20,000 Days and Counting” holds a space on my shelf of favorite books. I’ve never heard anyone else articulate how to enjoy the journey better than he!

20,000 Days and Counting: The Crash Course for Mastering Your Life Right Now

Fall time is here and it may be time to start your BLOGGING dream!

It’s only a click away….This is where I started!

July 29, 2021July 29, 2021

Are You Disciplined?

It’s SUMMERTIME! We are no different than the rest of the earth’s inhabitants. We can thrive in the sunshine, grow our gardens and stockpile food for winter, lay on the beach and stare at the clouds, eat banana splits on a hot day, or enjoy time with friends by the pool. The list is endless and it sounds fabulous! Are you disciplined?

Do you have the discipline to make it all happen?

The month of July moved extremely fast in my personal world. I was moving fast right along with it and doing very little of my above dream list. Some days actually moved faster than I could possibly run.

However, even in the midst of this fast-paced world, I am taking mental notes and pondering some questions that may be beneficial for many of us.

Is it totally necessary to RUN from daylight til dark?
Is there a way to trim obligations to allow for more down time?
At the end of each day, what is TRULY the most important thing in life?

Well, those are big questions that deserve answers from each of us. The truth is this. IF you don’t manage your life, someone else will. The demands on your personal self-created culture are monitored by your own discipline.

Our 7-year-old grandson stayed a few days with us this summer. I noticed that discipline was not his favorite element of the visit. (although he doesn’t get too much of it from his MiMi :)) Simple things like washing your hands, brushing your teeth, eating your dinner, and taking a break from the IPAD seemed like major events in his world. I can easily relate to him on a different level.

The answer to question number one is simply NO. It is not necessary to fill your day from daylight till dark. You can only do what you can do BUT you don’t have to do MORE than you can do.

A brush with death in 2015 has kept me continually aware of when my plate has become too full. I realized the value of life in one moment after a bad motorcycle crash. I knew my priorities would be changing before the paramedics even arrived. Now, when I feel myself reeling out of the boundaries of where I am my best self, I simply readjust.

I am certain I don’t have to remind anyone that life is precious and ultimately short. Yes, the days fly by but they each hold time that has not yet been captured. The answer to question number two is YES! Obligations CAN be trimmed. It may take a plan of action to achieve the goal BUT it can be done.

It has taken two years to phase out some of my previous obligations (including workload). I scaled back from working 40 hours a week for someone else to investing more time in our own personal dreams and goals. That includes writing this blog. Starting with only an hour a few mornings a week to where I am now, one entire day a week. I still work for someone else 20 hours a week, but contract work is managed around MY life instead of theirs.

Question number three can be difficult because it varies for each of us. It depends on what season we are occupying. I am in a golden season of understanding more than ever the value of relationships. 2020 was a rough year on a global basis. The fear instilled in folks close to me and abroad can only be overcome by keeping what is most important to us continually at the forefront of our vision.

For example, I will rework my schedule just to have a morning coffee with a friend. I will work hard for several days in a row to clear 4 days of uninterrupted time with my grandson. I will purposely make a Saturday morning available to browse a farmer’s market and catch up with my friend and music partner at a favorite coffee shop. My husband and I have weekend obligations at church so “date night” morphed into “date morning”. It can be anything from a game of golf to breakfast on the deck.

These are a few of my latest epiphanies of life. If you have already achieved your ultimate life – don’t change a thing!

I leave you with this encouragement. Don’t take anything for granted. Take a deep look at these simple questions and create the life YOU enjoy. It may not seem like it but the truth is there are answers to every obstacle you face. Start seeking out the wisdom to build the life you want and make a disciplined plan to make it happen. I for one am determined to stop to smell the roses and

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Blogging WAS one of those dreams for me….UNTIL I made up my mind. It all started right here. A SIMPLE CLICK. It’s just that easy.

There’s more of my story in my book “Escape from Darkness”. Find it here.