Tag: time

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Freedom vs Wholeness – Are they the Same?

Photo Credit: Freerangestock.com

Freedom vs wholeness – are they the same or is one needed to obtain the other?

I recently joined Kelsie Jo Hillis on Picturing Purpose Podcast to review my book Escape from Darkness. The conversation inspired me to revisit a few of its main topics such as gaining self-worth and the real definition of wholeness.

I am very thankful to Kelsie Jo for the podcast chat. I hope it encourages each reader to explore the concepts of wholeness and freedom. (Two of my favorite words)

Freedom will pave a new road of adventure for you while wholeness gives you the courage to walk it out!

You know healing has happened when you can discuss your past from an objective view instead of a totally emotional standpoint,

I noticed that I didn’t start sweating and breathing really fast when we approached the hard places of conversation. I commented at the conclusion of the podcast how glad I was to have written the book from the place of raw deliverance. I truly didn’t hold anything back because I wrote it in the heat of my healing. There really is no better place to connect with people than from the place of walking out of pain. They need to hear the tears and feel the desperation for freedom.

Transparency was a real obstacle for me. It seemed my life was full of secrets. Somewhere in the healing process, I realized the “secrets” were nothing more than shame transformed into a vice of insecurity. My belief system had become propped up with an infrastructure of insecurity and low self-worth.

Insecurity will shut you down. It will keep your feet planted in a cesspool of fear and uncertainty. Simple decisions can become difficult to manage and you could analyze your way right out of opportunities. Viewing your life through the lens of unworthiness can keep you trudging through life like you’re wearing concrete boots. Daily living can seem like a major and tiring task.

The question I raise today is this: do you see yourself as ENOUGH to pursue freedom in this chaotic world of high demands and constant stress? Sometimes I feel my shoulders up around my neck because I’m living for what I need to do next in my day.

The current world requires we make moment to moment intentional decisions to protect our peace.

So why is wholeness important? We must see ourselves as worthy enough to take the time in each day to protect our inner peace. It takes courage and strength to combat interruptions and distractions with bold grace. Courage and strength rise up more frequently in the pursuit of becoming whole.

I found a new person hidden under the rubble of stress and trauma once I dedicated time to run my race to wholeness. The first few steps were nothing more than tiny steps of faith because I had never seen myself as enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Pretty enough. Worthy enough. My perspective changed as time and discipline ran their course. YES– I will schedule a monthly massage. YES – I will spend an hour each morning with a book or pen and paper. YES – I will protect myself from hitting the emotional ditch.

I walk toward my dreams but with total awareness that it is a JOURNEY and NOT A SPRINT!

Everyone has a different journey to walk. Even if we were all headed to the same destination of freedom, the route is different for each one of us. That is exactly why I encourage folks to tell their stories. There are nuggets of hope in each story.

The truth is FREEDOM IS BEAUTIFUL. It allows the real you to begin to shine and get brighter each day.

I leave you with this encouragement. Find that secret place where you can actually hear yourself think. Ask yourself “Do I believe I am enough? “ Your answer will lend a good starting place to begin a new self-care routine. Practice saying YES to yourself. We all have room to expand and by all means

Enjoy the Journey- VB

This blog was a stepping stone in my freedom and wholeness walk. Maybe it would help you too! Here is where I got started. It’s easy and affordable and introduces you to a network of wonderful people.

It’s one click away!

Don’t forget to check out the podcast!

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Collect Perfect Moments

So here we are! The very end of the weirdest year ever! Or is it?

It is true that conditions have been different and challenging. It hasn’t all been good but it certainly hasn’t all been bad. I know several folks who have had a most successful year. Some folks used the isolation from society as an opportunity to introspect and find those crevices within that could use some personal development. Others STARTED new businesses in the middle of a global shutdown! Some folks have endured extreme heartache and difficulty. Some have had to face unbelievable health challenges and even death all alone. A huge segment of people stayed glued to the news and let “the numbers” become a part of daily living. Then there are the heroes of healthcare and transportation who worked endless and grueling hours. Emotion builds in my heart as I write that sentence. They really are heroes. I give them honor today for the courage, bravery and stamina it takes to be on the front line.

Most of us have been forced to change the way we do things but can we “really” pin it as the weirdest year ever? I confront us with this question only to encourage a new mindset.

The picture you see above is a gift from a very good friend who had a memento made using one of my daily practices. I have collected “Perfect Moments” for years. I promise when you start actively seeking a perfect moment, it will not fail to show up. Let me assure you that a perfect moment is not the same as an extravagant moment. Extravagant moments are well commended but not near as frequent. A perfect moment is quite simple. It is that first sip of morning coffee, a lyric in a song that grabs your attention, a baby’s laugh, a breath of fresh air after (or during) a rain, the sound of thunder, a phone call from your child, a text from a friend, a pet that meets you at the door, etc. The list can go on and on!The point is when you become a constant seeker for a perfect moment – a positive mindset begins to shift your future into a different lane. A lane of peace and joy and ultimately – opportunity. Your days have more sunshine and your nights have more dreams! I know it sounds too simple and a bit quirky but that is pretty much me in a nutshell – quirky enough to pull the gold out of otherwise dismal circumstances and simple enough to let go of the things I cannot control anyway.

We are closing 2020 and opening 2021. A new year gives us the opportunity to set new goals and even restore hope where hope has been lost. However, don’t get locked into the numbers that fill the boxes on the thing called the calendar. It may help organize our lives and manage the time between sunrise and sunset BUT time will pass anyway no matter how we fill our days. Time will and can heal those places in the heart with open wounds of the past or present.

I agree with Linda Ellis who wrote “The Dash Poem”

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

I leave you with this encouragement my friends. Peer into the hidden corners of each day and collect some perfect moments. Let them saturate the memories in your mind so they’re available to retrieve at any time. Keep a journal to help you reflect. When the calendar tells us another year has passed – we may conclude that it really wasn’t as weird as it seemed! Writing this blog has been a “Perfect Moment” for sure. Have a fabulous NEW YEAR and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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Time Will Not Delay

My office floods with early morning sunlight when the time “falls back” for the Autumn/Winter season. I lift the window just enough to feel a slight breeze and hear the morning song of the birds as it travels across the trees. The trees are now letting go of their leaves that once thrived during the summer season. It speaks to me, time will not delay.

Our lives move through these same seasons. There are days where the sun shines brightly yet seems to set quickly. There are days where darkness looms as it will never end. There are days of extreme light when joy is abundant and we celebrate victories.

I write a lot about time because it is the most valuable commodity in our lives. This little excerpt says it well: The concept of time is elusive because, well, it stands still for no man. It is the life currency that you can never regain after “spending” it. https://simplyshredded.com/the-currency-of-time-lifes-most-precious-commodity.html

I can feel the winds of change as surely as I feel the breeze moving through this room. It reminds me of the importance of “holding things loosely”.

I received the news a year ago in July that one of my best friends of 20 years had been killed in a car accident. I had just seen her a few weeks before as she was getting in her car to leave my house. She waved goodbye, flashed her beautiful smile, and blew me a kiss. She was one of the most talented vocalists I have ever heard in my life. We had plans to do her first recording in our studio the following August. How do we even consider holding these relationships loosely? Yet we must also hold the regrets of the past even more loosely. Neither of them is to be held as ours.

Her life and her early exit from this earth only made me question the element of time even more deeply. We did delay but time did not. We delayed in simply putting that date on the calendar to archive a voice that many of us now long to hear just once more. In the 20 years, she and I spent as friends and music partners – we could not find one recording of her to play at her funeral. Emotions sit right on the surface as I write this because the importance of the message burns with passion in my heart. Her death caused a paradigm shift in the atmosphere of my world. I HAD to move with the shift even though my heart wanted to sit down and find all the seemingly good reasons to quit.

The momentum of the world we live in today is like a raging river. It is fast and furious yet slow and attentive. How do we manage to catch the wave that catapults us to the changes we desire and sit on the beach and breathe in every single moment at the same time? Where is that perfect balance? Is it even possible? I look at the aging of my own body and retrace the footsteps of my life and think “oh how quickly things move.” Events like the death of a loved one can shake your world and bring up many questions. Questions that are worthy of an answer.

We must find resolve in our hearts to bring us to the point of stepping out on the limb of courage to face our fears and annihilate our own procrastination. Just do it even if you’re scared. Even if it’s not perfect. Death will be the final seed we are allowed to contribute but life offers a beautiful window of time. The seeds we have planted on our journey will someday be watered by other sojourners walking their road of destiny. May we learn to plant those seeds, enjoy the growth they give us, and walk on toward those things that await our arrival.

While my friend’s voice was put to rest that day, her daughter stepped into her mother’s legacy and blessed us all with a song. My friend didn’t get to do all that we had planned for her but nonetheless, those seeds from her gift are firmly planted on this earth and will grow no matter what. Just imagine what we can do by simply being a little more intentional with our time.

I leave you with this encouragement. Don’t let time slip away. Get up and look at the sunrise and announce to the world that YOU WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE today and every day hereafter. Hold loosely to those things which will inevitably change as time goes on. Love deeply and on purpose. Move with the changes in your life. Finally, make this holiday season so great that those close to you will forever hold it in their memory bank just like I hold the memory of my friend’s final wave, kiss, and unforgettable smile. I am here to tell you- IT IS WORTH IT!

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Time Holds Your Purpose

One of the best tools I ever used was a 7-week calendar with 1-hour increments. Each week has exactly 168 hours. It seems the major complaint one hears from most folks these days is there just isn’t enough time. The truth is we all have the same amount of time. It is how we choose to use it. If you will spend a week completing the handy little calendar based on your daily activities, how you spend your time will be quickly revealed. Frankly, I was appalled at my own results. I actually uncovered all kinds of time that was available to me. Furthermore, the way I was spending my time was far from productive or satisfying. It was no wonder frustration and anxiety chased me around.

The value on that exercise turned out to be long lasting. When I sense that feeling of my plate being “too full” , I simply pull out the 168 hour calendar and reevaluate my priorities. A reevaluation may come frequently or it may not. There are no defined rules as to when you reevaluate YOUR TIME.

24hourcalendar-1Download

Creating time in your schedule for the things you love to do is empowering. Deciding how much of YOUR TIME you give away to others is also empowering. Relenting to the uniqueness in you and the desires that are pushing on your soul is empowering.

I have to wonder if most people avoid their own talents simply because they can’t see how it would make a difference. The real truth is anything we enjoy doing will be done with heart and passion. That alone is enough of a reason to pursue the dream. Tucked deep in each one of us are gifts and talents pushing to get out. We will either recognize their presence or take them to our grave. If the latter happens, the world around us has been deprived because each of us carries a purpose. Your purpose will always affect the life of another. The Butterfly Affect by Andy Andrews is a great read to influence how you live each day.

It all started when I began a journey of emotional healing through counseling. I designated one morning a week to do nothing but write. Writing was my saving grace. My journals filled up between each counseling session. I could sense more freedom with each word I wrote. It also had to be long hand with a felt tip pen. Okay, that may sound silly but I am being transparent to make a point. You can RELENT or PARTIALLY RELENT. The choice is yours. I totally relented to my kinesthetic learning style. This is part of finding out how YOU are wired. The more freedom I found from my own life trauma the more the desires of the divinely installed gifts began to surface. I loved writing so much I decided to turn my experience into a book. I would not let anything interrupt the time I blocked out to write. Two years later Escape from Darkness was published. There are no sufficient words to properly describe how that accomplishment boosted my courage to JOURNEY ON AND FORGE THE WAY TO MORE UNCHARTED TERRITORY!

I leave you with this encouragement. Take the time to evaluate your time! Complete the 168-hour calendar and take charge of your life. Time is a gift to be stewarded in a way that points us in the direction of our predestined purpose. Unwrap your gift today and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB