Tag: journey

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LOOKING FOR TRUTH

Happy New Year folks! In today’s chaotic atmosphere several are looking for TRUTH while frantically sorting through the plethora of daily information that is freely available at our fingertips. The real truth is “we cannot believe most of what we hear” these days. The escalation of deceit is happening faster than anyone could possibly keep up with it. Even the deceivers are having difficulty!

The New Year always brings a bit of reflection for me. It only takes a quick look over my shoulder to remind me that looking at the past is a good way to steer off course. However, I do believe that sometimes a quick look can also be a reminder of a few hard-earned nuggets of wisdom that are worthy of tucking in our backpack for the journey ahead.

This year my personal look back helped me understand some things about TRUTH. My dad was an ornery soul, to say the least, BUT one thing he stood firm on was telling the truth. He instilled the valuable virtue with the back of his hand if needed. I didn’t agree with his method for memory but the foundation of TRUTH has been extremely helpful in the big picture of life. I recall only a few times I strayed from the truth and they both brought consequences with deep scars to myself and others.

Have you ever been around a person who is so comfortable in their own skin that you fight the feeling of jealousy? I try to make those people my friends! Being close to them allows me to pull from their positive influence.

It seems things become true when proven. Those things that have proved themselves over time have become part of my infrastructure known as the belief system. Unfortunately, a lie will position itself as the impostor of the truth When a person with a traumatic past looks in the mirror – their belief system tells them what they see. What they see drives the rest of their day. Likewise, when a person with the real truth of their own identity looks in the mirror – what they see also drives the rest of their day. One sees through the lens of fear and insecurity while the other sees through a much clearer lens of confidence and love. The good news is infrastructures can be remodeled! It only takes courage and an open mind to start the demolition.

It is probably safe to say that most of us have been both of those people at one time or another. It is common to even have a foot in both the path of trauma and the path of true identity on our journey to wholeness. There are days I still remind myself of the truth. The TRUTH that says I am beautifully and wonderfully made. The truth says there are places on this earth that await my influence. The truth that says PERFECTION is an unreasonable goal. The truth that says FAILURE is simply a strength exercise and adds to the lessons of wisdom. The truth says I must love myself before I can fully love others.

I leave you with this encouragement. Examine your belief system. Make the needed changes if there are gaps or areas of deceit supporting the infrastructure. Do not wait another minute to wipe the fog from your daily lens of perspective. We are living in a day where the virtue of truth is far and few between. There will only be a remnant who chooses to stand on the side of integrity, love, and truth. Do not be deceived into thinking the course of violence and lies will lead to a place of safety. Take the road less traveled and become a person with influence to change the places where you are given a voice.

AND BY ALL MEANS

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

One more thing for the record: My dad was right – the truth is always the best route. 🙂

Check out my recent book on Amazon. The title of it is Escape from Darkness.

I chronicled my own journey to the truth.

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Collect Perfect Moments

So here we are! The very end of the weirdest year ever! Or is it?

It is true that conditions have been different and challenging. It hasn’t all been good but it certainly hasn’t all been bad. I know several folks who have had a most successful year. Some folks used the isolation from society as an opportunity to introspect and find those crevices within that could use some personal development. Others STARTED new businesses in the middle of a global shutdown! Some folks have endured extreme heartache and difficulty. Some have had to face unbelievable health challenges and even death all alone. A huge segment of people stayed glued to the news and let “the numbers” become a part of daily living. Then there are the heroes of healthcare and transportation who worked endless and grueling hours. Emotion builds in my heart as I write that sentence. They really are heroes. I give them honor today for the courage, bravery and stamina it takes to be on the front line.

Most of us have been forced to change the way we do things but can we “really” pin it as the weirdest year ever? I confront us with this question only to encourage a new mindset.

The picture you see above is a gift from a very good friend who had a memento made using one of my daily practices. I have collected “Perfect Moments” for years. I promise when you start actively seeking a perfect moment, it will not fail to show up. Let me assure you that a perfect moment is not the same as an extravagant moment. Extravagant moments are well commended but not near as frequent. A perfect moment is quite simple. It is that first sip of morning coffee, a lyric in a song that grabs your attention, a baby’s laugh, a breath of fresh air after (or during) a rain, the sound of thunder, a phone call from your child, a text from a friend, a pet that meets you at the door, etc. The list can go on and on!The point is when you become a constant seeker for a perfect moment – a positive mindset begins to shift your future into a different lane. A lane of peace and joy and ultimately – opportunity. Your days have more sunshine and your nights have more dreams! I know it sounds too simple and a bit quirky but that is pretty much me in a nutshell – quirky enough to pull the gold out of otherwise dismal circumstances and simple enough to let go of the things I cannot control anyway.

We are closing 2020 and opening 2021. A new year gives us the opportunity to set new goals and even restore hope where hope has been lost. However, don’t get locked into the numbers that fill the boxes on the thing called the calendar. It may help organize our lives and manage the time between sunrise and sunset BUT time will pass anyway no matter how we fill our days. Time will and can heal those places in the heart with open wounds of the past or present.

I agree with Linda Ellis who wrote “The Dash Poem”

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

I leave you with this encouragement my friends. Peer into the hidden corners of each day and collect some perfect moments. Let them saturate the memories in your mind so they’re available to retrieve at any time. Keep a journal to help you reflect. When the calendar tells us another year has passed – we may conclude that it really wasn’t as weird as it seemed! Writing this blog has been a “Perfect Moment” for sure. Have a fabulous NEW YEAR and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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Pursue WHOLENESS

In today’s culture it is of the utmost importance to intentionally pursue wholeness.

We are in full swing of holiday activities, political unrest, and pandemic instructions. Things couldn’t be more exciting or more uncertain. The media offers stress with just one click on your electronic device. One click usually leads to two clicks and before you know it you have been successfully submersed in 30 minutes of information overload. Information for circumstances that you have absolutely no control. Yet the rest of the day you will be left pondering the information. Furthermore, nearly every person in your path will mention their own stress and opinions on the matters within a few seconds of a casual conversation.

Without even knowing it we build internal stress structures. Over time the accumulation of stress causes our bodies to remain in constant fight or flight mode. These days it doesn’t take long to get there. A common phrase is “if there could only be another me, maybe I could complete everything on the daily “to-do” list”.

Well, it isn’t uncommon to find yourself divided into many parts. Parts that represent your past, your present and your future. If you really slow down enough to thoughtfully examine your own behaviors, stress levels, and daily routines, you may find that there REALLY ARE several versions of you accommodating each day! It is no wonder we long to get away in front of the television with our favorite show or consume the drinks, food or medication that calm the internal beast.

I believe women are worse then men regarding the many identities we try to hold up. Especially in the current culture of singleness and singleness with children to raise. In general it seems that men are better at staying to the course of their purpose. Women are wired to “save the world”. We are naturally doers and nurturers.

While I love the empathetic, compassionate and loving part of myself – there came a time that I hit the wall (so to speak). I was running so fast and wearing so many hats, I seldom stopped to make sure I was still breathing.

Let me tell you from personal experience – when your body and mind can’t run anymore, they will stop! Right there in your current tracks you will find yourself unable to function. I can honestly say I have never been more afraid than I was when the overload happened. I could not get control of my emotions. They were running on their own. (story is here) Physical exhaustion was beyond getting out of bed.

Some people hit a wall of anxiety and racing thoughts. I had thoughts of “nothingness” . I wanted to slip into a cave and sleep the world away. It can be very hard to crawl out of such a pit of despair. The mental and physical load on the journey to wholeness is overbearing. Becoming whole is the best and the more difficult of our two options at that point in time. We either succumb to wholeness or fall down the pit of depression. My decision and commitment to pursue wellness came when my counselor asked me to define wholeness.

One of my favorite authors is Matthew Kelly. I found my destination to pursue in his book “RESISTING HAPPINESS” .

WHOLENESS

The sense that my life is One – not many parts or many compartments, but one loving, breathing, ordered life. In the midst of the search for wholeness – two good things remain; my desire to be whole and the voice that can lead me to wholeness.

Wholeness allows me to embrace who I am and at the same time strive to achieve all I am capable of achieving and become all I am capable of becoming. Being content with who I am today and improving myself for tomorrow.

I believe wholeness is attained when we find the delicate balance that allows both to coexist.

I leave you with this word of encouragement. Don’t wait for your own “hit the wall” experience. Begin to listen to the “voice” of Wisdom that resides outside of the wilderness. Start stepping toward your own definition of wholeness and pull the fragments of yourself together. You are important! Wrap this year up in a huge present of time and attention to yourself. Pursue wholeness and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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Are You a World Changer? “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. ~Ghandi~

The growth of the scattered poisonous seeds of trauma from childhood were used to create the first layer of the foundation of fear. Fear had pinned me behind the walls it had built on that foundation so early in life that I grew into adulthood believing there was nothing more to life than what I had already seen. I believe most folks never look over the walls. It is why there are only a few who have walked this earth with such a strong influence that they left an impact for hundreds and even thousands of years later. They were the handful of those willing to throw themselves at destiny. They would not let their past experiences become their identity or let fear of failure stop them. Fear is only powerful if we succumb to it.

Fear is relentless; it does not grow weary. Fear is strengthened by layers of insecurity, unworthiness, rejection, failure, and more. The walls built on the foundation of my belief system were so high, I did not know my own potential was confined within the limits of their boundaries. I thought I was living the best life possible. I did not know I was dragging old stuff from the past around with me everywhere I went.

This is an excerpt from my own memoir “Escape from Darkness”. It seemed to appropriately sum up my thoughts as I watched a short clip of recent national news. What in the world is happening? Right or wrong, people will fight for what they believe. They will even go beyond the limits of the law to make a point. Sadly, they may even work from inside the law to fight for what they believe. However, at the end of the day – we all put our shoes on the same way. We all share the commonalities of our own personal vulnerabilities of our past. Our belief systems were formed by our environments and it is what we know…unless we dare to venture out and truly search for what we don’t know.

I have several earthquake instances of awakening in my journey which I now lovingly refer to as “aha” moments. My willingness to explore the perspectives outside of my own prison of deceit opened up a whole new world that brought many opportunities with it. I may have never bumped into those opportunities or new relationships had I not been willing to explore some uncharted territory. My point is this: Ultimately, FEAR is at the root of the erratic behavior we watch on the news, see in our hometowns, and even in our own homes. Fear of the unknown and certainly fear of that which we cannot control. Fear truly is relentless and will push us beyond strength we have never even considered of ourselves.

SO the question is do we annihilate fear, learn to live with it or turn it into a driving force for the good of mankind? I believe the answer is YES to all three of these suggestions. Fear that draws its strength from our past does have to be annihilated through us facing it head on and hitting it right between the eyes with truth. We will always live with a certain element of fear because the more brave and courageous we get the more we will expand our territory of new things. We will continually face giants of resistance with each new endeavor who would like nothing more than to keep us from fulfilling purpose. Finally, when we learn we are actually much more powerful than fear – we can turn it into a positive force in our lives and use it to help our fellow man. Now that I am no longer haunted by the fear that confines and makes me afraid but instead strengthened with courage and curiosity by the fear of entering into unknown fields that hold hidden treasures of opportunity, I am able to change the landscape of my own community with gifts and talents I didn’t even know existed.

I leave you with this encouragement. Don’t be threatened by your past failures, rejections, beliefs, or insecurities. Let them be a stepping stone to your true self. Become a driving force for the good of mankind! It only takes one view of the current news to bring inspiration to present the world with a new way of thinking.

Gandhi said it this way: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…J Have a fabulous week my friends and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Time Will Not Delay

My office floods with early morning sunlight when the time “falls back” for the Autumn/Winter season. I lift the window just enough to feel a slight breeze and hear the morning song of the birds as it travels across the trees. The trees are now letting go of their leaves that once thrived during the summer season. It speaks to me, time will not delay.

Our lives move through these same seasons. There are days where the sun shines brightly yet seems to set quickly. There are days where darkness looms as it will never end. There are days of extreme light when joy is abundant and we celebrate victories.

I write a lot about time because it is the most valuable commodity in our lives. This little excerpt says it well: The concept of time is elusive because, well, it stands still for no man. It is the life currency that you can never regain after “spending” it. https://simplyshredded.com/the-currency-of-time-lifes-most-precious-commodity.html

I can feel the winds of change as surely as I feel the breeze moving through this room. It reminds me of the importance of “holding things loosely”.

I received the news a year ago in July that one of my best friends of 20 years had been killed in a car accident. I had just seen her a few weeks before as she was getting in her car to leave my house. She waved goodbye, flashed her beautiful smile, and blew me a kiss. She was one of the most talented vocalists I have ever heard in my life. We had plans to do her first recording in our studio the following August. How do we even consider holding these relationships loosely? Yet we must also hold the regrets of the past even more loosely. Neither of them is to be held as ours.

Her life and her early exit from this earth only made me question the element of time even more deeply. We did delay but time did not. We delayed in simply putting that date on the calendar to archive a voice that many of us now long to hear just once more. In the 20 years, she and I spent as friends and music partners – we could not find one recording of her to play at her funeral. Emotions sit right on the surface as I write this because the importance of the message burns with passion in my heart. Her death caused a paradigm shift in the atmosphere of my world. I HAD to move with the shift even though my heart wanted to sit down and find all the seemingly good reasons to quit.

The momentum of the world we live in today is like a raging river. It is fast and furious yet slow and attentive. How do we manage to catch the wave that catapults us to the changes we desire and sit on the beach and breathe in every single moment at the same time? Where is that perfect balance? Is it even possible? I look at the aging of my own body and retrace the footsteps of my life and think “oh how quickly things move.” Events like the death of a loved one can shake your world and bring up many questions. Questions that are worthy of an answer.

We must find resolve in our hearts to bring us to the point of stepping out on the limb of courage to face our fears and annihilate our own procrastination. Just do it even if you’re scared. Even if it’s not perfect. Death will be the final seed we are allowed to contribute but life offers a beautiful window of time. The seeds we have planted on our journey will someday be watered by other sojourners walking their road of destiny. May we learn to plant those seeds, enjoy the growth they give us, and walk on toward those things that await our arrival.

While my friend’s voice was put to rest that day, her daughter stepped into her mother’s legacy and blessed us all with a song. My friend didn’t get to do all that we had planned for her but nonetheless, those seeds from her gift are firmly planted on this earth and will grow no matter what. Just imagine what we can do by simply being a little more intentional with our time.

I leave you with this encouragement. Don’t let time slip away. Get up and look at the sunrise and announce to the world that YOU WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE today and every day hereafter. Hold loosely to those things which will inevitably change as time goes on. Love deeply and on purpose. Move with the changes in your life. Finally, make this holiday season so great that those close to you will forever hold it in their memory bank just like I hold the memory of my friend’s final wave, kiss, and unforgettable smile. I am here to tell you- IT IS WORTH IT!

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Are you in position?

The above pictures remind me of how one single day can hold a lesson for life and help us ponder the question “Are you in Position”?

We are quickly approaching the official holiday season. I think it is safe to say that most of us will gladly kiss 2020 goodbye and put it in our rearview mirror. It seems the year has slowly flown by us. Sometimes leaving us in a trail of dust and other times leaving us to feel like we are standing knee-deep in stagnant waters.

The year has certainly offered its challenges but it has also given us a great opportunity to RESET and become positioned for a new day. There are 77 days left until the calendar offers a reason to refresh our goals and look forward to a new horizon. We can ask ourselves these questions? What are we going to do with those 77 days? Are they going to slowly fly by us or are we going to “flow with them” onto new roads that lead to our real dreams?

Did you know that those dreams and desires are put there as a guide to take you to your purpose? They aren’t just some silly thoughts that are passing through your head. Beneath those dreams of yours are gifts and talents that will prove to be tools and vehicles to take you to a place of your divine purpose on this earth. Believe it or not – we are meant to enjoy each day to its fullest. What we lay our hands to should seem like anything but work!

One can not settle for looking at the world through the windows of the soul and deciding “this is it”. There is so much more beyond what you can see with your naked eye.

It has been 5 years since a motorcycle accident shook my perspective of life to the core. The recovery time forced me into a place of self-introspection and prioritization. I came to realize that most of what kept me so busy had nothing to do with my dreams. Since then I have not talked to one person who had a near-death experience that didn’t tell me the same thing.

The physical recovery from many broken bones and the trauma of being hit head-on from a car (pictured behind the wrecked bike) was certainly difficult; however, the shift in understanding the importance of living each day in the joy of taking my position on this earth at this particular time presented a much more thoughtful journey. Sometimes I sense standing in the light after coming out of a long twisty journey from the woods. There are different paths that lay before me but some of them illuminate slightly above the others. As I set my foot on those predestined paths I cannot help but wonder if I’m even equipped to walk on these roads less traveled. Yet the desire to reach the pinnacle is much greater than the fear that could hold me buried in the mud of complacency.

I leave you with this encouragement:

Are you happy with your current position? Do you need to explore different options? Do you need to do a “clutter cleanse” from your daily schedule?

I encourage you to spend the days ahead looking beyond the boundaries of your natural vision and grasp the possibility of the dream that lies in your heart. There is no one else on earth who can fill your position. I promise.

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Follow The Poinsettia

According to the calendar, fall has officially made its entrance. It still amazes me to watch nature adjust to the changing seasons. The sun takes longer to wake up. I already miss the early morning on the deck. I personally had to adjust to being in my office to write this morning because it’s too DARK outside to see. I spent last weekend taking care of the summer plants that provided so much enjoyment the last several months. I couldn’t help but reflect on the Poinsettia. They hold so much significance. The picture above is one of my favorites. This was taken in early spring. This plant was on its second year of blooming. It faithfully displayed its red leaves for the Christmas season and held on to them through spring. The latter part of spring found it dropping the red leaves and moving into a time of complete nakedness. I remember my concern the first time the plant started losing its leaves. I thought it was surely meeting its fate. It was telling me it was its season to prepare for the sunshine. The poinsettia will thrive during the summer months UNTIL the fall. Much to my surprise it began to regenerate new and deep green leaves in the places of barrenness during its time on the deck through the summer. This allowed it to store up its strength in the new and healthy leaves. The stems became much hardier and the plant grew in stature. It uses the new storage of strength to endure upcoming season of darkness.

In a few weeks I will move it into the closet where it will spend at least 13 hours a day in total darkness for the next few months. The shortened hours of light and increased time spent in the dark will prepare it for the beauty of the bloom. The time in isolation will prepare it for the deadline it has to meet. The deadline is its predestined purpose it has to fulfill. December will find poinsettias displaying their splendor of color in stores, greenhouses, and many homes. Their season of “being seen” will once again last until spring when they will start the cycle all over again. Each time they gain strength and stature. Their blooms become much larger and more valiant in beauty as they age.

The principle of such a process doesn’t really thrill me but it does make sense. No one really “looks forward to a season of isolation” but if we will take a short time to reflect on those difficult seasons of our lives, we will undoubtedly find that we came out on the other side with a fresh look of new beauty. A beauty that could only be gained in the solitude of refining. It helps to understand that life is a series of eventful growth periods. If we can recognize the season we can make it more productive. If you have found yourself in darkness (especially in 2020) , have no fear. Breathe deep and prepare for the new season that awaits on the horizon. Don’t allow yourself to be slothful with these precious moments of opportunity.

Spend the time of solitude in strength training. Ask yourself the hard questions. What areas of my life need attention? Do I need to “drop some leaves” that no longer serve me? What new things are called to replace the areas of barrenness? Am I prepared to emerge into the light with a humble beauty that is attractive to those around me? Will my time of solitude prove to be a testimony to those who cross my path?

Does grace, humility, and love illuminate from my countenance with each season of my life? And most of all “Am I enjoying the journey?”

I leave you with this encouragement. Explore the process of seasons with your poinsettia! It will quietly show you the many characteristics of life it shares with us. You will find yourself standing taller and stronger and perhaps more beautiful than ever! Folks may just look upon your life and politely ask how you do it? To that you can respond “Follow a Poinsettia”.

Enjoy the Journey – VB