Tag: enjoythejourneyvb

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When two Worlds Collide

Photo Credit: Vicki Weldon, The Refuge Ministries

You’re going about your day and suddenly a moment presents itself to briefly enter into the world of another person. What happens when two worlds collide? Are you prepared to entirely embrace the moment?

I write from a beautiful resort tucked away in the hills and surrounded by trees. Short getaways are so valuable. The world today is a constant reminder of the chaos that swirls around us. A silent moment away from home is like gold in my opinion.

I am constantly working on staying in the moment. It is a task in the current world we live in. Staying in a conversation until it is OVER is even hard work. Listening more than I talk is also difficult. Listening is a skill that most of America hasn’t accomplished yet. The distractions constantly seek each of our attention. Technology catches the blame for most of our wandering thoughts and inattentiveness. However, our own minds require the discipline to stay above the noise and dwell in peace. We each have a personal responsibility to steward our thoughts, our time, and our behavior concerning how we divide our attention.

It’s a work in progress for each of us but on a personal level, I realized it helps me see the things and the people I would have otherwise missed had I not been looking past my own nose. Each moment is an opportunity for growth if you’re looking. I will share a moment that popped up during a recent shopping trip.

Photos courtesy of and copyright Free Range Stock

The summer sun was bearing down on the mid afternoon. The kind of heat that literally takes your breath when you step out of an air conditioned vehicle. The only thing on my mind was finding some new summer clothes for our next trip. Shopping is not my favorite thing to do. Therefore, there is a pointed plan and a block of time dedicated to the mission.

I saw him sitting on the sidewalk as I approached the store. My mind instantly prepared my answer for the expected plea for money. My husband and I both will usually give something if we have it. That day found me with not a coin or a piece of cash in my wallet. As I made my way to the door of the store, he asked me for enough to buy a drink or some food. I could tell he was miserably hot but I truly couldn’t help at that moment. I replied a quick apologetic “No” without missing a step.

I went on my way and finished the shopping with the image of his sweaty face in my thoughts. It was an hour later when I walked out with a big bag of clothing. Something in me hoped he wasn’t still sitting there to witness my huge purchase. A purchase of convenience that seemed so necessary until that very moment.

The man had moved on and was nowhere in sight but the internal pain in his eyes has remained with me. The whole encounter stirred something in my soul. Maybe someone gave him some money and he found a cool place for a drink and some food. Maybe he gave up and moved to another place. I don’t know the answer but I wondered if I could have changed the outcome and made a difference.

Most of us live on a daily fast track of schedules, deadlines, and survival. That’s life, right? We all fall into routines that revolve around ourselves. It takes purposeful effort to change our vantage points and look at life through a different lens.

It is certainly not wrong to go shopping for summer clothes. I am very thankful that my budget is gracious to allow the provision. Yet there are divine moments in our daily endeavors that may get overlooked if we’re don’t have a watchful eye.

I have thoughtfully changed the scenario several times. I see myself approaching him on that hot day with the same expectation of his question for provision, however, there are more options that would involve my time. What if I had beat him to the punch and started a conversation? What if I had asked him about his story? What if my shopping trip time had been completely taken up by my conversation with this stranger?

I still wouldn’t have had a dollar in my pocket to share BUT both of us may have been richer simply by two different worlds that had just collided on that sidewalk.

I understand we have to use keen discernment and even caution in these times. The world is not a real safe place anymore. There are still moments that are supposed to happen and I don’t want to miss them if possible. I believe I did miss a particular moment in my story but it didn’t go in vain. I learned something about myself and I am also prepared for the opportunity to present itself again. The stranger on the sidewalk played his part in my life by simply asking me for a gift.

I leave you with this encouragement. Each of us has personal areas we can change, skills we can hone, and moments we are meant to encounter. It only takes awareness. People are good at hiding their pain. We are not so good at seeing the pain in another. A heightened and purposeful sense of being present IN THE MOMENT can put you in a position to collide with the world of another.

Open your eyes a little wider, breathe a little deeper, make the most of what is in front of you, make a time to retreat, and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Writing serves me well as an outlet to express my thoughts. We all see the world differently. Blogging is a great tool to share yourself with others. Click below to get started just like I did!

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DOES IT HAVE TO BE DIRTY SANTA?

Does it have to be Dirty Santa
Does it have to be Dirty Santa?

The day had come for the Christmas gathering for a group of women who I cherish deeply. I was to be their hostess. The one responsible for setting a vibe of love and fellowship. I awoke seeking something creative and different that would allow them to go home that evening with a refreshed desire to influence the world around them with the good in their hearts. The question was swirling in my head “Does it have to be “dirty Santa”?

I am that person that has to intentionally be creative in certain areas or I will stay in a traditional ditch of what I already know. Every year we play one of the most popular go-to Christmas party games ever played! Most of us have had at least one opportunity to play the radical gift exchange during an office party, family gathering, or church celebration.

Each person is called by the number they draw from a hat to pick a beautifully wrapped present which was brought in by each guest. IF it’s a cool gift that catches your eye – – no worries – it can be STOLEN from your fellow game participant up to 3 times before its fate to remain with its final owner. That is UNTIL the end of the game when participant number 1 has the right to look over the entire flock and TAKE WHAT THEY WANT leaving you no other option than to TAKE WHAT YOU WANT from someone else. The game can go on and on until everyone is satisfied or “stuck” with what they opened. It’s a difficult game for some simply because not everyone is wired to take from others even when it is intended to be fun-loving. And what if you are the one that brings the gift that isn’t “cool” and no one really wants it! That’s a whole other emotion that may surface unexpectedly.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot of fun over the years congregating with my friends and co-workers AND came home with some pretty good stuff. I admit I have even bought gifts that I secretly wanted for myself which conveniently allowed me to enter the game with the mindset of creating a strategic plan on the fly to take my own purchase home with me instead of creating a spirit of giving!

It’s comical and a bit sad to actually put the play by play into words. In a season of traditional giving we somehow create just the opposite in an effort to entertain each other. Human nature is pretty good on it’s own being selfish and greedy without purposely giving it an arena to run. Furthermore, it seems to me that 2020 has proposed enough challenges to invoke selfishness and greed.

Anyway, while getting myself ready for the day I hear these words “flip dirty Santa on its head”! I thought, WHAT A FABULOUS IDEA! Which immediately brought up the next question – Just how does one turn a dirty Santa upside down ? I knew the answer by the time the guests arrived. Instead of creating an atmosphere of coveting and stealing, we were going to GIVE, RECEIVE, COMPLIMENT, and BLESS each other! Those practices should be woven in the fabric of our character and visible every day in each of our lives. However, the world doesn’t offer much influence on the matter. Outside of our homes we have to make a conscious effort to stay in such a positive mindset because more often than not someone or some circumstance will present the opportunity to bring out the ugly in us. (and none of us are exempt from a little bit of ugly) .

We drew our numbers to pick a gift BUT the rule was you had to give that gift away. Both the giver and the receiver stood in front of the group while the receiver unwrapped her new gift. The giver then filled in blanks on these three simple statements as she released the giving spirit into the room:

  1. I am giving you this gift because _________________.
  2. My favorite thing about you is ___________________.
  3. I bless you with_______________________________.

OH MY GOSH! There were tears, there was laughter, and there were hugs. We had successfully explored territory outside of our own comfort zones. DIRTY SANTA HAD BEEN FLIPPED ON ITS HEAD!

I could write a very lengthy piece on what all happened that day but I think you get my point.

I leave you with this encouragement:

Take those three statements into the highways and byways. Speak blessings into a world of hurt and greed. Give the gift of the kindness and good that is already cultivating in your heart. Watch it grow as you exercise it with intentional effort. Lets massively come together and flip dirty Santa on its head.

Merry Christmas my friends. Embrace the love around you and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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Pursue WHOLENESS

In today’s culture it is of the utmost importance to intentionally pursue wholeness.

We are in full swing of holiday activities, political unrest, and pandemic instructions. Things couldn’t be more exciting or more uncertain. The media offers stress with just one click on your electronic device. One click usually leads to two clicks and before you know it you have been successfully submersed in 30 minutes of information overload. Information for circumstances that you have absolutely no control. Yet the rest of the day you will be left pondering the information. Furthermore, nearly every person in your path will mention their own stress and opinions on the matters within a few seconds of a casual conversation.

Without even knowing it we build internal stress structures. Over time the accumulation of stress causes our bodies to remain in constant fight or flight mode. These days it doesn’t take long to get there. A common phrase is “if there could only be another me, maybe I could complete everything on the daily “to-do” list”.

Well, it isn’t uncommon to find yourself divided into many parts. Parts that represent your past, your present and your future. If you really slow down enough to thoughtfully examine your own behaviors, stress levels, and daily routines, you may find that there REALLY ARE several versions of you accommodating each day! It is no wonder we long to get away in front of the television with our favorite show or consume the drinks, food or medication that calm the internal beast.

I believe women are worse then men regarding the many identities we try to hold up. Especially in the current culture of singleness and singleness with children to raise. In general it seems that men are better at staying to the course of their purpose. Women are wired to “save the world”. We are naturally doers and nurturers.

While I love the empathetic, compassionate and loving part of myself – there came a time that I hit the wall (so to speak). I was running so fast and wearing so many hats, I seldom stopped to make sure I was still breathing.

Let me tell you from personal experience – when your body and mind can’t run anymore, they will stop! Right there in your current tracks you will find yourself unable to function. I can honestly say I have never been more afraid than I was when the overload happened. I could not get control of my emotions. They were running on their own. (story is here) Physical exhaustion was beyond getting out of bed.

Some people hit a wall of anxiety and racing thoughts. I had thoughts of “nothingness” . I wanted to slip into a cave and sleep the world away. It can be very hard to crawl out of such a pit of despair. The mental and physical load on the journey to wholeness is overbearing. Becoming whole is the best and the more difficult of our two options at that point in time. We either succumb to wholeness or fall down the pit of depression. My decision and commitment to pursue wellness came when my counselor asked me to define wholeness.

One of my favorite authors is Matthew Kelly. I found my destination to pursue in his book “RESISTING HAPPINESS” .

WHOLENESS

The sense that my life is One – not many parts or many compartments, but one loving, breathing, ordered life. In the midst of the search for wholeness – two good things remain; my desire to be whole and the voice that can lead me to wholeness.

Wholeness allows me to embrace who I am and at the same time strive to achieve all I am capable of achieving and become all I am capable of becoming. Being content with who I am today and improving myself for tomorrow.

I believe wholeness is attained when we find the delicate balance that allows both to coexist.

I leave you with this word of encouragement. Don’t wait for your own “hit the wall” experience. Begin to listen to the “voice” of Wisdom that resides outside of the wilderness. Start stepping toward your own definition of wholeness and pull the fragments of yourself together. You are important! Wrap this year up in a huge present of time and attention to yourself. Pursue wholeness and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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THE FAMILY GATHERING

The Family Gathering

Thanksgiving and Christmas are quickly approaching along with the dilemmas and excitement of the family gathering. There is certainly a pile of other issues to occupy our minds from a national and global level. However, the family gathering scales it back to the tiny spaces we occupy in our homes. The expectation of the troops coming home for the holiday can bring excitement as well as apprehension. It just depends on who you are and what is trending in your family dynamics.

I recently heard a podcast that addressed the topic of properly “expressing our emotions”.

I found it most interesting because many of us don’t know HOW to properly express emotions. I was over 50 years old before I figured out that I had never been taught to express feelings. We simply learn to function in the environments in which we are born.

Some folks are very emotionally healthy if they have been fortunate enough to be in a family that has overcome their own obstacles of dysfunction. I was not that person so it took intentional effort on my part to make it happen. I am sure glad I made that decision because ultimately it will break a weak link of bad behavior in the generations to come. Furthermore, prayerfully it will also make for more pleasant holidays in the future!

Although my intentions and expectations have been positive, our family has not been exempt from stress-charged atmospheres when we have come together through the years. My own emotional healing has recently helped diffuse some situations and open my heart to understanding others a bit better.

You see, suppressing our own emotions leaves us with another rock stacked on the existing pile of debris labeled “unworthiness”. I sat under that pile of dung for many years. It literally strangled me by the throat when emotions would try to surface. I did not know how to express them whether they were good or bad. This had positioned me in a “victim mentality “ when others would appropriately or inappropriately express their feelings.

I truly believed everything was my fault when chaos broke out. As a child, the condemnation manifested itself as fear. Adulthood brought a belief system that had been so altered by fear that my emotional behaviors were very shallow. My walls of protection had been strategically built around my internal emotional structure to a point that I was in my own self-made prison.

I remember the day my counselor made the suggestion of living without my well-built wall of protection. Initially, the idea seemed absurd. Something I could not even imagine. I eventually succumbed to the idea and I broke out of that prison.

I leave you with this word of encouragement. If you can relate to this part of my story, choose this time of the year to make the decision to break down the prison walls. The one thing I can tell you for sure is YOU may be the CHANGE your family has long-awaited. The dynamics change when you begin to model something different.

Most importantly – you will not store the toxic sludge of suppressed emotions. You will politely exchange the false burdens of someone else’s bad behavior to maintain your internal peace. Your load will be lighter and you will be able to focus on the main thing. THE FAMILY GATHERING! We are in uncertain days. We must

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

(read the whole story)

Escape from Darkness Bookcover looking out of the dark forest into the light
Escape from Darkness

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Where’s the Love?

I write this morning with a somewhat heavy heart. You know when you have one of those weeks when your eyes have been turned toward the hurt and sorrows of this world. It seems every person you come into contact with has a crisis. Not just a petty crisis but real troubles. You have to wonder, “Where’s the Love”?

2020 has proved to be full of surprises. Folks are enduring trials from the weather to a pandemic and everything that could pack itself in between. We are being forced to navigate the emotional impact these oppositions have on us. We are put into a corner of self-introspection and reevaluation of how we continue to make a living and do life at the same time. Fear remains a foothold in many lives. Fear of sickness, fear of lack, fear of _____________ (you can fill in the blank). Fear has no boundaries and it has no limits if given the reigns to rule.

Even before the pandemic, technology and garage doors placed major barriers between relationships. What used to be a phone call is now a text and what once was an opportunity to say hello to your neighbor is now driving your car into a part of your house and shutting the door behind you before anyone has a chance to see you. There is seldom a get together with friends or even family because of busy schedules and new rules of social distancing.

We find faith when we flip fear on its head. Faith and courage to overcome the obstacle that seems to block the road in front of us. Faith makes the way to intentionally remove the load from our own shoulders and become available to lend a helping hand to another who is in need. After all, true prosperity is being able to provide for a need when it presents itself. This is what makes the world go around. People helping people. We were not designed to be in this world alone. It was intended to be a community effort.

Whether it be financial, relational, family, health, or simple circumstances – challenging times can wear us out if we let them. It is difficult because it requires such conscious effort to draw a boundary of peace around daily life.

I leave you with this encouragement. Challenge yourself by making time on your calendar to reflect on how YOU can make a difference. Put your thoughts into action. Keep in mind you cannot save the world but collectively we can sure make some changes. It seems the more we give the more the opportunities to give will pop up. It is a spiritual principle that once we’re focused on our participation in the needs around us, our own needs are miraculously provided.

It’s easy to recognize the deep pain of another when you have been there yourself in a different season of life. Troubles are real and so is the exhaustion of dealing with them. I am forever grateful to those who extended their resources, love, and friendship in my personal times of challenge.

Today I share a video released this year by a very good friend of mine. We share the burden of the sorrows we see around us. We made a decision to simply make a difference with our musical talent. Her song will prick your heart of compassion. Let it be the spark on your flame of decision to rise up in your current season and release LOVE to a hurting world. I promise the rewards are great!

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Why I Blog….

Why I Blog
Why I Blog
Recording some tracks in our studio for a music project. Writing a song is also a form of blogging.

Why I blog has been nothing less than an organic process for me. The truth is –it’s my therapy. In my day, we learned to write..like physically hold a pen and write in cursive. I loved that. The feel of the pen, the way the ink flowed on the paper, and the way thoughts can actually come out of your head so you could see them! Deep thinking for such a young mind but it brought me great joy and peace even then.

Learning to blog is certainly a modern version and a more professional way to journal. I do love the avenue it gives us writers to share with others.

Through the years I have filled up stacks of journals that document the many diverse seasons of my life. I am thankful for the written history now. It is interesting to travel back through the pages and see my story. A story that can only be my own. I am enjoying this season of my life more and more with each day.

I believe our stories are one of the most powerful tools of influence that we can possibly possess. Our own stories of trial, victories and even defeat will undoubtedly intertwine and bring a thread of encouragement for someone else at some point in time. I turned 56 this year. If I had known the things I know now, I certainly would have changed a few of the routes I took to get here. I suppose we could all say that. Yet, it is OUR story, right? It’s unique and the best part is that it is not fully written yet. We march on with the wisdom and knowledge we have gained through life experiences.

I recently wrote the book Escape from Darkness. It is a short easy read that took me two years to write. It was grueling because I first had to live what I wrote about. I simply penned the journey of finding freedom from my past that had held me captive for most of my years. Somewhere during the process, I thought to myself “Hey, this is going to be a book because I want everyone to find this sense of freedom.” That’s exactly how it happened.

Writing that book not only set me emotionally free but also threw a spark on the very part of me that enjoyed writing since the day I could hold a pen. So goes the Blog. I need a place to keep priming the pump (so to speak) and hopefully, it will also serve as valuable inspiration to some readers. A Blog is a vehicle for that to happen.

The Blog will fit perfectly into this season of my life as I form a new outlet to express myself and encourage others to do the same. Expressing ourselves is a must to achieve complete wholeness. I am excited to share the things I’ve learned thus far and more excited to make new friends from the blogging community and readers who enjoy the content. Stay tuned for more posts from my mind to the paper and by all means

Enjoy the journey…VB

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