So Lonesome I Could Cry

Hank Williams said it all in 1949 with his release of ” I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” .

Elvis commented it was the saddest song he had ever heard.

The burden of loneliness has been around for as long as people.

Today is one of those days when this writer feels a timely message is at hand. Another year is about to make its exit but not before the holiday season has its way. I expect folks to celebrate big this year. Even though uncertainty fills the air, there is also a sense of freedom compared to a year ago. Nevertheless, it’s the time of year when many will face that familiar lonely feeling.

My intention today is to focus on what we can do to help alleviate loneliness for ourselves and others.

I recently had a conversation with a friend that revealed the challenge of solitude some of us deal with as our children leave the nest, our bodies begin to have a mind of their own, and the desire to stay home from the 8-5 routine begins to raise in priority on the wish list.

One of my recent blogs about the baby boomer generation discussed the culture that surrounds our traditions of living. Many of us have served our time in the grind of the 8-5 workplace . Years of working toward that day of bliss when the retirement plan kicks in and the pension check shows up in the mailbox for the rest of our days.

However, suddenly, we’re 50 years old and the world isn’t what it was when we started this journey. Companies have changed, people have changed, work ethics have changed, governments have changed and more importantly, WE changed too.

What happened? Are we accomplishing anything? Have we done anything that matters?

Is there really a dreaded mid-life crisis?

Well, call it what you want to but it’s a real thing and it happens to many of us. I began to sense an urgency regarding the speed of time. Life legacy became more important than the material things that once held so much importance.

On top of all that, I began to sense this weird lonely feeling starting to traipse around in my daily routine. My personal schedule had not slowed down. My life is blessed beyond measure and there is not a lack of things to do. I am motivated with lots of creative ideas, and I don’t procrastinate about taking risky leaps to make them happen. Yet, I still began to find myself a bit unsettled.

So I did what most women do, I began to evaluate the situation.

DO I need more friends? Do I need different friends? Do I need a vacation? WHAT DO I NEED???

What was this internal nagging I had pegged as loneliness?

Here is my resolve. First of all, loneliness has no mercy where age is concerned. It happens to all of us at different times of life.

I believe the real question is “What can we do to engage with each other in a way that enhances relationships and brings fulfillment for our soul?” I personally am extending my effort to answer this very question.

I recently visited friends and family who are housed in nursing homes and an assisted living facility. During my visits, I became acutely aware of their isolation. Freedom as they once knew it simply does not exist. These folks are dependent upon us to find time in our schedules to make a phone call, send a text, mail a card, or physically spend some time with them. While it doesn’t take a facility to be confined, the concept is the same for many.

My heart became burdened for their situation and the loss of a life that is now only in their memories. Their social circles consist of basically the same people every single day. My point is – my own loneliness paled quickly against the backdrop of what I experienced.

The people that accommodate these types of facilities have encountered the loss of their independence. There are also other situations involving “children” who are born as victims of their environments. They too have no choices for their daily routines. They have never experienced the independence of an adult, but instead are in the most vulnerable and developmental time of their lives concerning the social connection. From foster care to cancer centers, to our very own communities – we can find a child who needs a hug or simply a friend.

I could elaborate on this ever-growing loneliness epidemic but my words would eventually become redundant. The desire is for my reader to think beyond themselves and put their own freedom into action for someone else who may be less fortunate. My counselor set me free when she said “People were originally designed for connection.”

There ya go. People were meant to engage with each other on some level.

I leave you with this encouragement. Turn your own loneliness into a gift of connection. There is certainly no better season to begin such an attempt. The holidays have their own way of magnifying feelings, whether good or bad, joyful or sad!

Light up a dark place in someone else’s world. I promise –your reward will be priceless fulfillment.

Have a great Thanksgiving and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Blogging helps me empty my head. (If that makes sense) There are a lot of thoughts out there that are meant to be shared. Don’t wait another minute. Do what I did and reach out to the people who are willing to help. It’s blogging made easy!