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Poverty vs Prosperity/What’s the difference?

This picture of the old farmhouse where I grew up was taken on a recent trip to South Dakota. It had been 40 YEARS since I had seen it.

Poverty or prosperity- which mentality do you have?

Wow-what a controversial topic. That question can challenge the best of us. Honestly, I had not given it much thought until one of my mentors presented me with the question. That’s when I had to take a close look at which of those lenses I was choosing to view my life.

Cultural programming has everything to do with how we define our lifestyle. My folks raised us knowing the meaning of hard work. We lived on a farm in South Dakota for a big part of my childhood. I remember the long cold winters when all hands were required to be on deck to ensure that both we and the animals survived. Summers brought long hot days in the wheat fields. Mom packed our lunch in a round dishpan and filled the water jugs to the brim. We loaded up the goods and spent the whole day in the field under a make-shift awning. (an old green tarp with holes in it that was strung from the truck bed to two fence posts stuck in the ground) She and my dad went around and around the field on their tractors all day planting crops. They would wave at us with each round and make sure all was well at the camp. I laugh as I write this just thinking about how dirty we were at the end of the day.

The look back helps me to identify how my mindset that surrounds my perspective on poverty or prosperity was developed. Lifestyle has certainly changed over the years BUT the mentality dug its roots and settled in for the long haul.

I could go on and on about how life was lived on the plains of South Dakota. The stories can easily mirror the “Little House on the Prairie” television series. It was those stories that set me on the path of reforming some very old mindsets.

The first thing was to explore what each of those words meant to me. With no purposeful intentions from anyone involved – my definition of poverty took on the persona of “hard work only brings more hard work”. It was an endless cycle of work to simply survive. Sometimes there were huge setbacks like hail storms that took out a whole crop. Even as a child I could feel the heartbreak and disappointment of my parents. The fear of lack began to box me into a very tiny space of small dreams. I developed a real ” poverty mentality“.

Cultural programming has everything to do with how we develop our life. Can we break out of what we know and into what is actually possible?

I’m not sure why it is often referred to as a poverty “mentality”. The more accurate description is an “impoverished soul”. Poverty is more than how many dollars you have or don’t have in your bank account. It runs deep into the crevices of your everyday life and can affect every decision you make. For example, our hard childhood culture left a residue of unworthiness that ran behind the scenes of my adulthood decisions. Decisions stretching all the way from what clothing to buy to who to marry! It’s hard to imagine how sitting in a field playing games and reading all day could develop into an unworthy attitude toward myself.

The truth is that culture does define us. The good news is we can be open to change if we want something different.

Somewhere on life’s journey, I realized there was another option besides “expecting lack” and “slamming every penny into a savings account”. There were faith and hope. There was an understanding of a new identity that could take the golden nuggets of teaching from my childhood and apply them to a more prosperous mentality. The type of thinking that refreshes your soul into knowing that no matter what – YOU ARE WORTHY of the precious things life can give.

The truth is that most of the present chaos of the world is simply not in our control anyway. It will gladly drain any faith and hope we muster up if we focus on it. The healthy option is to change your focus. I mean your eyes can literally move from one place to another. From the place of lack to the place of abundance.

I leave you with this encouragement. Don’t define your mentality of poverty or prosperity by your bank account. Instead , revisit your cultural upbringing. Look deep in your soul and ask yourself what you are expecting life to bring you. Do you really believe you deserve the gold that is waiting for you in this season? Will you take it when it presents itself? Will you restore faith and hope in yourself and those around you? Are you open to changing some old habits?

The next blog will bring a closer look at prosperity. In the meantime

Enjoy the Journey – VB

P.S. Writing brings me great joy. It also brings me great joy when others share themselves through writing too. It’s not hard to get your stuff out there for others to enjoy. Click here to see how I got started. These folks are fabulous!

My book is available on Amazon. “Escape from Darkness“

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Do you procrastinate?

The action of delaying or postponing something.

It can be the enemy of all time. I absolutely love writing this blog. I look forward to it all week. Yet, when my favorite, scheduled writing day arrives – I will find myself doing laundry instead. I can be one of those folks who find it hard to get started.

There are a lot of ideas in my head and they constantly speak to me! There is music that hasn’t been written, books that are waiting to be completed, and blogs that are floating around in the creative minds of this generation of people. We have more tools ever in history and it couldn’t be easier to record our thoughts and ideas. The internet allows us to share instantly (even in real time) . There is even the ability to make a career out of our thoughts simply by sharing it with the world. The very idea of choosing laundry over such potential personal advancement seems absurd! However, at the end of the day – we are still just humans and the struggle remains real.

Truly successful people are usually organized to the point of intentionally utilizing their God given 168 hours of each week. I am convinced this is a great way to overcome procrastination. I am also adamant there must also be a balance in everything we do. For example – if you make such a rigid schedule that you find yourself losing joy, then it needs to be adjusted. Grace also must be found if you are the person that freaks out when the schedule gets interrupted by life. My grandson loves to visit. Believe me – we drop EVERYTHING for the time spent with him!

Balance is crucial in our daily endeavors. Most of the time there is simply no room for procrastination. Things like laundry can actually wait! Distractions pull on each of us every day. I feel like its an accurate statement to say many of us go to bed thinking of the things we didn’t get done instead of applauding ourselves for the things we did accomplish. I am on a mission to spread a perspective of taking the time to celebrate achievements. It doesn’t have to be huge. Pick something you enjoy but seldom take the time to do. I love massages, a mani-pedi, coffee with a friend, dinner with my husband and quality time with family.

Writing my first book was a huge achievement. It was on my dream list but never done . The completed manuscript arrived because of intentional effort. Every Wednesday morning was an appointment with myself to write something in Escape from Darkness.

At the time there were only 3 hours a week to spare and it had to happen between 6 and 9 AM. Eventually, a natural momentum began to establish and I was thoroughly enjoying the journey!

My vision and ideas became more pointed which allowed the passion for my purpose on this earth to gain traction. Procrastination had lost its hold. My husband and I celebrated with a grand steak dinner and wine the day I saw that book on Amazon!

I leave you with this encouragement. Everybody has to start somewhere. Why not now? The New York time best sellers had to write their first book. Famous song writers wrote a first song. Bloggers that educate us everyday with their wisdom simply started sharing their thoughts at some given time.

Start today uncovering that dream and give it a place in your 168 hours. Don’t be concerned with fame and fortune. You’re already a pretty big deal in the big scheme of life. There are things to share with intended folks that only YOU can provide. Kick procrastination in the tail and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

Good reads from my personal ” favorite books shelf”:

20,000 Days and Counting/Robert D. Smith

The War of Art/Steven Pressfield

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The Risk To Blossom

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

~Anais Nin~

One of my favorite quotes. It has been printed on multiple cards and tacked to my refrigerator. It has been stuck with tape on the bathroom mirror, used as a bookmark in my bible, and as a desktop image on the computer. I need to see it to be reminded that remaining in the same place will eventually become painful. The old saying rings true: IF what you’re doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

Compounded on last years pandemic demand for isolation, this year the nation has contended with the Arctic Blast of 2021. Confinement has presented different problems for different folks. Some dealt with power outages while others dealt with finding shelter and food. Some have suffered greatly from loneliness and fear. I simply counted my blessings. We live in a valley with steep hills that demand respect during winter episodes. The snow piled higher and the temperatures dipped low enough to set state records for this time of year.

A person like me welcomes such a break from the norm with open arms. The reflection during down time reminded me how uncomfortable being tightly confined can be. I’ve served my time in emotional prison. The breakout wasn’t easy by any means but there is no value to be put on freedom. The definition of the word speaks for itself: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.There is power in being free to be yourself.

You see, there is no shame in exposing and unlocking our own personal confinements. They only become more toxic the longer we choose to carry them through life. Old and familiar strongholds keep us from blossoming into our full potential. It is true that the past can leave deep scars. Sometimes we’re left with a wide open wound that precedes us wherever we go. Without even knowing it we carry the stench of rotting flesh with us into every relationship. It can become a very lonely road. Our facade fights to stay in control and cover up the damaged goods behind the smile. Shame loudly reminds us to stay hidden or the world will reject the person underneath the rubble.

Folks have different heaps of rubble. No one’s journey is the same. The only common place on the trail to freedom is the decision to dump the load of sludge that has restricted freedom from being our fuel to succeed.

I leave you with this encouragement. Let this be the day to begin walking away from the pain of remaining bound in the bud of your past, addictions, emotional baggage, physical ailments, or trauma. Take the risk of letting one petal at a time open to a beautiful blossom. I promise the journey is worth the risk. I cannot wait to hear what you found on the other side. I hope you embrace the opportunities of stillness and by all means

Enjoy the Journey – VB

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Am I Enough?

Photo and quote By: Lindsey Ellen Simon
This is one of my favorite views…surrounded by towering trees.
It’s here where it gets quiet enough for the silent things to be heard and slows down enough for the hidden things to be seen. Where you can actually hear yourself breathe in life and feel every time your heart beats. Can these things be seen and felt other places? Sure…but the difficulty increases as the height of the trees decrease.

Do I really believe that I am enough?

I just returned home from an hour and a half massage! It was absolutely fabulous and absolutely needed. My massage therapist is a close friend and professional who is as genuinely concerned about my well-being as I am. She is so important to me that she gained honorable mention in my first book that was written during my own process of finding wholeness. I first had to define the term before I could pursue it! Below is the definition copied from the December 17, 2020 blog entitled “Wholeness”.

It is also a direct quote from the first page of “Escape from Darkness”.

Wholeness is the sense that my life is One – not many parts or many compartments, but one loving, breathing, ordered life. In the midst of the search for wholeness – two good things remain; my desire to be whole and the voice that can lead me to wholeness.

Wholeness allows me to embrace who I am and at the same time strive to achieve all I am capable of achieving and become all I am capable of becoming. Being content with who I am today and improving myself for tomorrow.

I believe wholeness is attained when we find the delicate balance that allows both to coexist.

Massage was a major player in my pursuit of emotional freedom. Yet it is only one of many things a person can do to rejuvenate a tired body or mind. It only takes a bit of thought and intentional effort to make moments of self-care happen for yourself. I personally love any kind of pampering. If there was a job entitled “receiver of professional self-care” I would certainly qualify. I have several ideas! It seems I frequent conversations including self-care more and more in these days of uncertainty, isolation, and information overload. It also seems there is a common theme that often relates to “unworthiness” in those dialogues.

Many women really do have difficulty seeing themselves as worthy of putting their own self-care in the budget. I believe most women are wired to BE the nurturer or giver instead of the receiver of such love. Things like massage therapy can be seen as fluffy and unneeded. However, if medicine is needed for well-being or illness, we quickly fork out the cash.

The question I raise today deserves introspection. How can we see ourselves as ENOUGH to feel worthy of “self-care” in this chaotic world of high demands and constant stress? I wish there were a clear fix-all answer. Somebody would be rich, wouldn’t they?

The answer is not quick and it certainly isn’t a FIX ALL remedy. The first step is a simple decision to pursue your own wholeness. The rest of the steps happen naturally as the progress is walked out. You may be led to a counselor, life coach, or mentor. You may find yourself on an extended vacation in the mountains. You may engage in totally new and improved daily routines that include walks, quiet time, writing, or cooking. Whatever brings your mind to the center of relaxation allowing your whole body to be involved is worthy of being put on the list.

I found a new person hidden under the rubble of stress and trauma once I dedicated time to run my race to wholeness. The first few steps were nothing more than tiny steps of faith because I had never seen myself as enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Pretty enough. Worthy enough. My perspective has changed as time and discipline have ran their course. YES– I will schedule a monthly massage. YES – I will spend an hour each morning with a book or pen and paper. YES – I will protect myself from hitting the emotional ditch. I walk toward my dreams but with total awareness that it is a JOURNEY and NOT A SPRINT!

I leave you with this encouragement. Find that secret place like you see in the picture at the beginning of this blog where you can actually hear yourself think. Ask yourself “Do I believe I am enough? “ Your answer will lend a good starting place to begin a new self care routine. Practice saying YES to yourself. We all have room to expand and by all means

Enjoy the Journey- VB

Find more of Lindsey Ellen Simon’s pics on Instagram

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Life is a Vapor

Life is a vapor. It is here for only a short time just like the cloud that rests on this water.

Life is short….we say it frequently in casual conversation. We use the phrase like we truly understand the depth of its truth. I believe we all reach a place in our lives at one time or another where we wish we could lasso time and dole it out in smaller increments. You know, slow this train down a bit. Time doesn’t stand around and wait on us to find the courage to begin doing the desires of our heart. The sun still rises and sets every single day and what we do in between is the life we create.

Deep thinking but not profound revelation. It is a very simple concept. The responsibility of how we sculpture our lives lands solely on each one of us as individuals at the end of each day. The truth is life really is a tiny mist of vapor. I love how the Passion Translation of the bible states it :

James 4:14 But you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring. For your fleeting life is but a warm breath of air that is visible in the cold only for a moment and then vanishes!

It doesn’t take long to get motivated if you let those words penetrate your soul. The definition of the word fleeting does it for me. It means a short time or passing quickly. I am sure you get my point. SO where and how do we find the courage to consider these “fleeting” lives a true piece of art? A canvas that hasn’t been completely painted? A book that has the best chapters yet to come? A song with lyrics that one can’t get out of their head after they hear it?

Facebook is great at posting those videos that give glimpses of how we recorded our last few years. The memories remind me of the value of time already spent. Did I live in such a way that another could gain a leg up of encouragement when the going gets rough? Could one glean a ray of hope to keep putting one foot in front of the other by the way I have chosen to use my fleeting moment?

Here’s the deal. No one can do it for us. WE HAVE TO CREATE THE SPACE TO BECOME WHO WE ARE INTENDED TO BE ON THIS EARTH. For example, Thursday’s have become my favorite day. It has taken me several years to strategically create an entire day to designate as my own day to challenge my creative genes. I finally have a voice to say to the world “THIS IS MY DAY!” The seasons of raising children and full time work have now been completed. The entrepreneurial spirit within me has worked hard to build an income and be my own boss. There is nothing that can lend more freedom than being in control of your own time. There is also nothing that can be more challenging than learning to steward that time for its most productive potential. The learning curve is like a roller coaster with huge lows in the dips and big highs on the mountaintops. I certainly have not always stayed steady on the course but keeping a forward focus has been a key player in creating that space.

You see, when you begin to “LOOK” at that constant knocking of creativity in your heart, something magical happens. It unveils itself and begins to take up residence in your soul. The more you look at it the more it grows. A dream will respond much like a plant that flourishes under a gardeners nurturing hand. It’s very important the words spoken over a desire are positive because they are like food to its roots.

I leave you with these words of encouragement. Open the door to that constant knock of desire in your soul. Look through the peephole at the very least to see the grand thing waiting to enter into your life. Take a good “LOOK” at it! Everyone has something and it’s never too late to breathe it into existence. Furthermore, understand that EVERY day should be pointed toward a purpose because this is YOUR vapor. Make it count! Lives lived with intention are full of joy, peace, and fulfillment. They make it possible for us to

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

PS….Dan Miller continues to have a large impact on my journey. Listen to some of his podcasts and explore the website!

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What are your DREAMS?

One of the hardest questions ever presented to me was “What are your dreams?”. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. It seemed like the words had rolled off this person’s tongue in slow motion and came hurling at me one letter at a time. I quickly realized that I really didn’t have a dream. The only thing I knew was hard work and survival. Who knew there was a future with endless possibilities? Who knew life truly is what YOU make it? Who knew there was permission granted to develop the art behind the dream?

His name is Philippe Petit. I mention him today because his story both inspires and challenges me. I love people who make us think larger while presenting the opportunity to go beyond the normalcy of life and do something different. His story will certainly intrigue you, but it may also stir up an inner desire that is lying underneath a heap of excuses. You know, like all the reasons “WHY” your dream cannot come true!

The same amount of time is available to all of us. None of us get special privileges in the realm of time. Some folks reach their dreams quickly while others take them to their graves. Some folks with shortened lifetimes accomplish more than others who live several decades. What is the difference between these people?

Philippe’s movie The Walk portrays his determination to simply do what he was born to do. He didn’t take any detours. He called his desire his “ART”. It looked ridiculous to everyone around him but he endured the loneliness of rejection and unwanted opinions and stayed the course. He simply didn’t settle for the mundane of what the world had labeled “NORMAL”. At the age of 24 he completed his dream and became a famous artist of his skill. He stood high above a world that applauds his efforts to this day.

When a person dares to pursue a dream it inevitably begins to get others involved. A dream rolling with momentum is hard not to watch! It becomes attractive to those who are called to be noticed! There may be a season of loneliness and feeling misunderstood BUT suddenly one will find themselves with new friends of support and love. Philippe called those who assisted him in his dream “accomplices” to his art.

I leave you with these words of encouragement.

Ask your self “What is the art within me?” Pull your dream from beneath the heap of negative words and place it on the canvas of your life. Be a flicker of light in a world of darkness. I believe you will stand in awe as your tiny light transforms into an inferno of inspiration and hope. Keep me updated because I would love to be an “accomplice” to your art that has not yet been seen!

ENJOY THE JOURNEY- VB

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LOOKING FOR TRUTH

Happy New Year folks! In today’s chaotic atmosphere several are looking for TRUTH while frantically sorting through the plethora of daily information that is freely available at our fingertips. The real truth is “we cannot believe most of what we hear” these days. The escalation of deceit is happening faster than anyone could possibly keep up with it. Even the deceivers are having difficulty!

The New Year always brings a bit of reflection for me. It only takes a quick look over my shoulder to remind me that looking at the past is a good way to steer off course. However, I do believe that sometimes a quick look can also be a reminder of a few hard-earned nuggets of wisdom that are worthy of tucking in our backpack for the journey ahead.

This year my personal look back helped me understand some things about TRUTH. My dad was an ornery soul, to say the least, BUT one thing he stood firm on was telling the truth. He instilled the valuable virtue with the back of his hand if needed. I didn’t agree with his method for memory but the foundation of TRUTH has been extremely helpful in the big picture of life. I recall only a few times I strayed from the truth and they both brought consequences with deep scars to myself and others.

Have you ever been around a person who is so comfortable in their own skin that you fight the feeling of jealousy? I try to make those people my friends! Being close to them allows me to pull from their positive influence.

It seems things become true when proven. Those things that have proved themselves over time have become part of my infrastructure known as the belief system. Unfortunately, a lie will position itself as the impostor of the truth When a person with a traumatic past looks in the mirror – their belief system tells them what they see. What they see drives the rest of their day. Likewise, when a person with the real truth of their own identity looks in the mirror – what they see also drives the rest of their day. One sees through the lens of fear and insecurity while the other sees through a much clearer lens of confidence and love. The good news is infrastructures can be remodeled! It only takes courage and an open mind to start the demolition.

It is probably safe to say that most of us have been both of those people at one time or another. It is common to even have a foot in both the path of trauma and the path of true identity on our journey to wholeness. There are days I still remind myself of the truth. The TRUTH that says I am beautifully and wonderfully made. The truth says there are places on this earth that await my influence. The truth that says PERFECTION is an unreasonable goal. The truth that says FAILURE is simply a strength exercise and adds to the lessons of wisdom. The truth says I must love myself before I can fully love others.

I leave you with this encouragement. Examine your belief system. Make the needed changes if there are gaps or areas of deceit supporting the infrastructure. Do not wait another minute to wipe the fog from your daily lens of perspective. We are living in a day where the virtue of truth is far and few between. There will only be a remnant who chooses to stand on the side of integrity, love, and truth. Do not be deceived into thinking the course of violence and lies will lead to a place of safety. Take the road less traveled and become a person with influence to change the places where you are given a voice.

AND BY ALL MEANS

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

One more thing for the record: My dad was right – the truth is always the best route. 🙂

Check out my recent book on Amazon. The title of it is Escape from Darkness.

I chronicled my own journey to the truth.

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Collect Perfect Moments

So here we are! The very end of the weirdest year ever! Or is it?

It is true that conditions have been different and challenging. It hasn’t all been good but it certainly hasn’t all been bad. I know several folks who have had a most successful year. Some folks used the isolation from society as an opportunity to introspect and find those crevices within that could use some personal development. Others STARTED new businesses in the middle of a global shutdown! Some folks have endured extreme heartache and difficulty. Some have had to face unbelievable health challenges and even death all alone. A huge segment of people stayed glued to the news and let “the numbers” become a part of daily living. Then there are the heroes of healthcare and transportation who worked endless and grueling hours. Emotion builds in my heart as I write that sentence. They really are heroes. I give them honor today for the courage, bravery and stamina it takes to be on the front line.

Most of us have been forced to change the way we do things but can we “really” pin it as the weirdest year ever? I confront us with this question only to encourage a new mindset.

The picture you see above is a gift from a very good friend who had a memento made using one of my daily practices. I have collected “Perfect Moments” for years. I promise when you start actively seeking a perfect moment, it will not fail to show up. Let me assure you that a perfect moment is not the same as an extravagant moment. Extravagant moments are well commended but not near as frequent. A perfect moment is quite simple. It is that first sip of morning coffee, a lyric in a song that grabs your attention, a baby’s laugh, a breath of fresh air after (or during) a rain, the sound of thunder, a phone call from your child, a text from a friend, a pet that meets you at the door, etc. The list can go on and on!The point is when you become a constant seeker for a perfect moment – a positive mindset begins to shift your future into a different lane. A lane of peace and joy and ultimately – opportunity. Your days have more sunshine and your nights have more dreams! I know it sounds too simple and a bit quirky but that is pretty much me in a nutshell – quirky enough to pull the gold out of otherwise dismal circumstances and simple enough to let go of the things I cannot control anyway.

We are closing 2020 and opening 2021. A new year gives us the opportunity to set new goals and even restore hope where hope has been lost. However, don’t get locked into the numbers that fill the boxes on the thing called the calendar. It may help organize our lives and manage the time between sunrise and sunset BUT time will pass anyway no matter how we fill our days. Time will and can heal those places in the heart with open wounds of the past or present.

I agree with Linda Ellis who wrote “The Dash Poem”

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

I leave you with this encouragement my friends. Peer into the hidden corners of each day and collect some perfect moments. Let them saturate the memories in your mind so they’re available to retrieve at any time. Keep a journal to help you reflect. When the calendar tells us another year has passed – we may conclude that it really wasn’t as weird as it seemed! Writing this blog has been a “Perfect Moment” for sure. Have a fabulous NEW YEAR and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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DOES IT HAVE TO BE DIRTY SANTA?

Does it have to be Dirty Santa
Does it have to be Dirty Santa?

The day had come for the Christmas gathering for a group of women who I cherish deeply. I was to be their hostess. The one responsible for setting a vibe of love and fellowship. I awoke seeking something creative and different that would allow them to go home that evening with a refreshed desire to influence the world around them with the good in their hearts. The question was swirling in my head “Does it have to be “dirty Santa”?

I am that person that has to intentionally be creative in certain areas or I will stay in a traditional ditch of what I already know. Every year we play one of the most popular go-to Christmas party games ever played! Most of us have had at least one opportunity to play the radical gift exchange during an office party, family gathering, or church celebration.

Each person is called by the number they draw from a hat to pick a beautifully wrapped present which was brought in by each guest. IF it’s a cool gift that catches your eye – – no worries – it can be STOLEN from your fellow game participant up to 3 times before its fate to remain with its final owner. That is UNTIL the end of the game when participant number 1 has the right to look over the entire flock and TAKE WHAT THEY WANT leaving you no other option than to TAKE WHAT YOU WANT from someone else. The game can go on and on until everyone is satisfied or “stuck” with what they opened. It’s a difficult game for some simply because not everyone is wired to take from others even when it is intended to be fun-loving. And what if you are the one that brings the gift that isn’t “cool” and no one really wants it! That’s a whole other emotion that may surface unexpectedly.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had a lot of fun over the years congregating with my friends and co-workers AND came home with some pretty good stuff. I admit I have even bought gifts that I secretly wanted for myself which conveniently allowed me to enter the game with the mindset of creating a strategic plan on the fly to take my own purchase home with me instead of creating a spirit of giving!

It’s comical and a bit sad to actually put the play by play into words. In a season of traditional giving we somehow create just the opposite in an effort to entertain each other. Human nature is pretty good on it’s own being selfish and greedy without purposely giving it an arena to run. Furthermore, it seems to me that 2020 has proposed enough challenges to invoke selfishness and greed.

Anyway, while getting myself ready for the day I hear these words “flip dirty Santa on its head”! I thought, WHAT A FABULOUS IDEA! Which immediately brought up the next question – Just how does one turn a dirty Santa upside down ? I knew the answer by the time the guests arrived. Instead of creating an atmosphere of coveting and stealing, we were going to GIVE, RECEIVE, COMPLIMENT, and BLESS each other! Those practices should be woven in the fabric of our character and visible every day in each of our lives. However, the world doesn’t offer much influence on the matter. Outside of our homes we have to make a conscious effort to stay in such a positive mindset because more often than not someone or some circumstance will present the opportunity to bring out the ugly in us. (and none of us are exempt from a little bit of ugly) .

We drew our numbers to pick a gift BUT the rule was you had to give that gift away. Both the giver and the receiver stood in front of the group while the receiver unwrapped her new gift. The giver then filled in blanks on these three simple statements as she released the giving spirit into the room:

  1. I am giving you this gift because _________________.
  2. My favorite thing about you is ___________________.
  3. I bless you with_______________________________.

OH MY GOSH! There were tears, there was laughter, and there were hugs. We had successfully explored territory outside of our own comfort zones. DIRTY SANTA HAD BEEN FLIPPED ON ITS HEAD!

I could write a very lengthy piece on what all happened that day but I think you get my point.

I leave you with this encouragement:

Take those three statements into the highways and byways. Speak blessings into a world of hurt and greed. Give the gift of the kindness and good that is already cultivating in your heart. Watch it grow as you exercise it with intentional effort. Lets massively come together and flip dirty Santa on its head.

Merry Christmas my friends. Embrace the love around you and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB

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Pursue WHOLENESS

In today’s culture it is of the utmost importance to intentionally pursue wholeness.

We are in full swing of holiday activities, political unrest, and pandemic instructions. Things couldn’t be more exciting or more uncertain. The media offers stress with just one click on your electronic device. One click usually leads to two clicks and before you know it you have been successfully submersed in 30 minutes of information overload. Information for circumstances that you have absolutely no control. Yet the rest of the day you will be left pondering the information. Furthermore, nearly every person in your path will mention their own stress and opinions on the matters within a few seconds of a casual conversation.

Without even knowing it we build internal stress structures. Over time the accumulation of stress causes our bodies to remain in constant fight or flight mode. These days it doesn’t take long to get there. A common phrase is “if there could only be another me, maybe I could complete everything on the daily “to-do” list”.

Well, it isn’t uncommon to find yourself divided into many parts. Parts that represent your past, your present and your future. If you really slow down enough to thoughtfully examine your own behaviors, stress levels, and daily routines, you may find that there REALLY ARE several versions of you accommodating each day! It is no wonder we long to get away in front of the television with our favorite show or consume the drinks, food or medication that calm the internal beast.

I believe women are worse then men regarding the many identities we try to hold up. Especially in the current culture of singleness and singleness with children to raise. In general it seems that men are better at staying to the course of their purpose. Women are wired to “save the world”. We are naturally doers and nurturers.

While I love the empathetic, compassionate and loving part of myself – there came a time that I hit the wall (so to speak). I was running so fast and wearing so many hats, I seldom stopped to make sure I was still breathing.

Let me tell you from personal experience – when your body and mind can’t run anymore, they will stop! Right there in your current tracks you will find yourself unable to function. I can honestly say I have never been more afraid than I was when the overload happened. I could not get control of my emotions. They were running on their own. (story is here) Physical exhaustion was beyond getting out of bed.

Some people hit a wall of anxiety and racing thoughts. I had thoughts of “nothingness” . I wanted to slip into a cave and sleep the world away. It can be very hard to crawl out of such a pit of despair. The mental and physical load on the journey to wholeness is overbearing. Becoming whole is the best and the more difficult of our two options at that point in time. We either succumb to wholeness or fall down the pit of depression. My decision and commitment to pursue wellness came when my counselor asked me to define wholeness.

One of my favorite authors is Matthew Kelly. I found my destination to pursue in his book “RESISTING HAPPINESS” .

WHOLENESS

The sense that my life is One – not many parts or many compartments, but one loving, breathing, ordered life. In the midst of the search for wholeness – two good things remain; my desire to be whole and the voice that can lead me to wholeness.

Wholeness allows me to embrace who I am and at the same time strive to achieve all I am capable of achieving and become all I am capable of becoming. Being content with who I am today and improving myself for tomorrow.

I believe wholeness is attained when we find the delicate balance that allows both to coexist.

I leave you with this word of encouragement. Don’t wait for your own “hit the wall” experience. Begin to listen to the “voice” of Wisdom that resides outside of the wilderness. Start stepping toward your own definition of wholeness and pull the fragments of yourself together. You are important! Wrap this year up in a huge present of time and attention to yourself. Pursue wholeness and by all means

ENJOY THE JOURNEY – VB